the two F's

Dr. Essani:

"You see, there are two things that every cell in the human body enjoys like heck. One is food, and the other..well, the other." *interruption of class gasping, cackling, and massive blushing* "It is simply the only purpose of life."

I think about my dreams sometimes, about what I want to do with my life. How I'll spend all that gorgeous and precious time expanding my knowledge about anything and everything in life...and then I think about the two F's. *woops* I guess I should spend my time giving pleasure to every cell in my body.

But then not only would I become obese, but a whore. (both of which are greatly not selectively preferable in achieving the reproductive ends life is defined by) *what irony*

;) Don't worry..I'm still me. Still tiny, and not even CLOSE to the 'w' word. :D :D :D Yea, so don't worry. I still suck at life. :D :D :D :D

*peaces*

a galaxy far, far away

I played this game with a computer, and it spat out this story:

"As I was dramatizing at the ties, I wondered what life would be like on another world. Would people have wheels on their yucky xylem to help them move about more politely? Would each person have a turmeric to help them do their work? For a moment, I admonished I could travel to a troublesome world like this to raking what life would be like. Then I realized that with two teenaged plumes, life here was confusing enough.

Now THAT'S comedy."

Apparently, it's called a 'manicdote.' :D

I also realized, that I suck on weekends. I basically just mope joyously around not doing anything, but pretending to do something at the same time, not succeeding at all at any of it, getting yelled at by the rents for not doing chores *boo*, then pretending to do chores, then pretending to do homework as an excuse to not do chores, then pretending to flail when the rents discover i was pretending all along. The mahvelous ending: I sit up till 47463.970 a.m. monday morning frantically pretending to actually do some homework. *whew*

Apart from all of that..I miss my bestest friend tremendously. :( I wish she were here so that we could take trips through the galaxy, kill savage microbes with bunsen burners, and um, swoon uncontrollably for no particular reason. :) *giggles*

And for those of you who've been enjoying the BEAUTIFUL FLUFFY SNOW so much (like me)...a word of caution..or rather, a video of caution:

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/507/

;) *warmth*

*wishes*

If I had three wishes, one of them would be this:

To be able to look up at the sky when gorgeous fluffy snow is falling! Why on planet earth do my eyes have to get retarded, bothered, and twitchy by those beautiful things floating around me?! Why on Zarquon can't I have the ability to see them falling from the sky?!

(Just some additional info: I'd also wish for more wishes, and wish that they come true) ;)

Life thus far has been...surprisingly busy. Seriously, I think the Spaghetti Monster's Noodly Appendage has graced my presence...meaning, I think it recognized all that white space and decided to scribble a bunch of random happenstances within it (excluding those which I most want). Translation: Even though I have 11 credit hours ONLY, I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep (more than 4 hours per night) because I've been extremely busy. (I guess wishes do come true in their own evil coniving ways) I really need to get a move on in terms of my research at Dr. Stapletons. O boy. DO I. I have no clue what I'm doing anymore and recently found out that probably the past 2 months of intense work at her lab have ended up as absolutely futile, because some RETARDED FUCKING ASSHOLE maintainance idiot decided to change the protocol I used for my assay. And what's better, it's been the SAME guy maintaining that machine for 24 years, and this is the FIRST time he's decided to change the machine's protocol, and what's even better, there's normally a flag that tells the machine what protocol to use (mine was 6, and it got changed to 8)...and THERE's NO FLAG FOR PROTOCOL 8!!!!!!!!! So, not only is my data invalid, but I can't even GET more data because the machine won't know what the heck it's doing.

*passes out*

Apart from that, there's other massive reading/study loads. Dr. Essani said yesterday that "the moment you think you know everything, you stop learning." And I think that happened to me. I got a 2.2/5 on my first Virology quiz. Yea, wow. (btw, EVERY point in that class is 1% of our grade) I just assumed that it was too easy for me and decided not to try. Peoples, it does not work that way. *woops* And my spanish class is kicking my butt because for the first time it's really difficult reading, but for the first time, I can actually handle it on my own without ANY dictionary! I just 'forget' to read the material though, which could be a problem I need to address pretty soon. My computer science class..well..*pft* What's left? *Aha* And I love pchem. Truly. I'm starting to like my professor, and I think it's because he's just as quirky, nerdy, unstoppingly conversational, and goofy as me. Did I mention smart? Yes, he's brilliant...like me. :)

And guess what that leaves me with? Othello. I've been reading Othello instead of nerdy science papers. *looks nerdily away* But these studies do also bring to mind something important:

"Iago: Tis in ourselves that we are thus, or thus. Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners; so that if we will plant nettles or sow lettuce, set hyssop and weed up thyme, supply it with one gender of herbs or distract it with many - either to have it sterile with idleness or manured with industry - why the power and corrigible authority of this lies in our wills." -Othello, Act I, Shakespeare

If my wish for more wishes came true, and if I made the said 'more wishes,' I would wish that each of us realize our will, and where we want to lead it (not where it chooses to lead us).

*bling bling*

So, what Dr. Essani established as the "4 things in life:"

1. Things are what they appear to be.
2. Things are not what they appear to be.
And the two following are relatively "dangerous,"
3. Things are, and do not appear to be.
4. Things are not, and do appear to be.

*hmmm* *deep contemplation*

I am really happy right now. My buddy Steve went to Nicaragua and not only SAW but actually TOUCHED AND SUTURED in a few of about 34 surgeries in 4 days!!!! HOLY CRAP! THAT'S FRIGGIN' AWESOME! *bows down before him* I'm so excited that atleast one of my friends can understand why I like surgery so much. When I witnessed surgeries in India, I was overjoyed. I NEVER expected it to be the way it really was. It was absolutely incredible, and wonderfully rewarding. The truth of the matter is that you really can't judge all that blood and tearing apart people's body (or seemingly so) until you're actually there, and witness someone's heart pumping, or watch blood flowing through a person's carotid, and think about the fact that you are actually PHYSICALLY helping somebody; you are helping them heal. And all these years of preparation could not have been enough to get you to that point of appreciating how much you have learned until you are there and applying it. It is that simple. Experience is gold.

*boy o boys* ;)

Yeehaw! Yo, so one of the coolest experiences thus far is to be back in Dr. Essani's class...what a truly joyous experience!

We were discussing how the importance of viral studies have affected discoveries today, and somehow ended up at the issue about stem cell research. *WARNING THIS INCLUDES R-RATED MATERIAL. THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE ASSASINATIONS SHOULD CONSULT THIS SITE AFTER THEY ARE MORE MATURE. (as I now am)* ;)
Dr. Essani (from what I remember): "See, the issue isn't really pro-life or pro-abortion because life was already there! The sperm had to still be alive and bouncing around like hell and the egg was still alive too! So there is no such thing as life beginning at any particular stage because there was life all along!! If you really want to call the isolation of stem cells the death of a human at any particular stage of development that might be considered as 'alive' or a part of 'life' then every time a boy takes his Playboy magazine to the closet he is committing MASS MURDER!!!!!!"

Needless to say, I was massively blushing, gasping, having my mouth widely open and covered with both hands, and laughing uncontrollably ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!! *hahaha*

Some wonderful cool facts though: from "Fundamentals of Molecular Biology" -Acheson
"There are 10-50 million bacteriophages on average per ml of seawater, and even more in many soils. Given the enormous volume of the oceans, scientists have calculated that there may be as many as 10^31 bacteriophages in the world. This is about 10-fold greater than the estimated number of bacteria. In terms of mass, this many phages would weigh about 100 million tons, or the equivalent of 1 million blue whales (the largest animal on Earth). More astonishing, these 10^31 phages, if lined up head-to-tail, would stretch some 200 million light years into space-that is, far into the universe beyond many of our known neighboring galaxies (Milky Way measure about 150 light years edge to edge, and the furthest visible galaxies in the universe are approximately 10^9 light years away). Ecologically, more than 95-98% of the biomass in oceans is microbial the rest of which is made up of all other forms of life, fish, marine mammals, birds, and plants, and about half the oxygen in the Earth's atmosphere is generated by photosynthetic activity of marine microbes. It's been estimated that 20% of the microbes in the Earth's oceans are destroyed each day by virus infections. Therefore, viruses play a major role in the carbon and oxygen cycles regulating our atmosphere and feeding the world's population."

*wicked* eh?

*woot*

WOW! School's started!

It's so strange, I had a MAHVELOUS vacation, but honestly, being the gorgeous *bats lashes* nerd that I am, I was ever so slightly tingling with joy at the prospect of more knowledge! *eee* Unfortunately, I only have 11 credit hours *GASPS & FLAILS* ..compared to the 20 I have been taking over the past three years at Western. :o I just look at my schedule and blink. *blinks emptily* THERE'S SOOO MUCH BLANK SPACE! Just pure white, no class names, no shock at seeing a "0" behind the previously three digit class numbers, no catalog numbers, or professor names. Just 4 classes: (in order of interest) Virology, Pchem lab, Spanish Short Stories of the 19th century, and Family and Computer Science..actually the last class is (assumingly) so stupid that I don't even know it's official name. (FCS is just the department) *evil giggle* If my prof were by the non-grace of some noodly appendage reading this I bet he/she is thinking "hmm..let's see how you do." *oops*

In fact, I have so little that I'm actually sitting in Dr. Stapleton's Biochem 2 class (which kicks awesome biochem butt!) ..no, no, I'm not even registered, and don't get ANY credit/grades! Now, THAT is commitment to science babae. ;) (btw..I love science)

Ofcourse, I am teaching a microbiology class, and I was flipping through my old micro lab book and ran across my marvelously separated/tattered, battered with stains page about how to do a gram stain. *o, the memories* *swoons over hot John* *swoons over thoughts of a certain slutty barnacle that inhabited the seat beside me* *swoons over beautiful pink and blue cocci and rods under the microscope* *absolutely fails to swoon over those horrendous creations called bunsen burners*

That was some massive swoonage there. All in all, I'm very excited! And OMG..the new chem building, in which I will have my Pchem lab, Biochem 2 sit-in, and Micro TA is GORGEOUS!!!! It's soooooo beautiful! The organic labs have hoods for EVERY two students! Everything is so beautiful and well organized and neat, clean, and not falling apart due to the effects of gravity into some hideous underground dungeon! (p.s. If anyone wants dibbs into seeing the new building...I'm the go-to person for that. The 'tour' includes an all access pass to the Micro room, and staring through hallway sessions of all other labs and lecture rooms, as well as a marvelous cruise through the bridge connecting Wood hall and what is the new building, the Chemistry Annex) :D

Mis amigos from the lab are going to stop by for dinner hopefully on Friday. *eee* *pees pants* I'm SO excited! :D :D :D

reality wrote me a check

Yo! Peoples of de' world!

So a wonderful, or not-so-wonderful update on the happenstances of my life:
Med School Rejections:
Mayo Medical School
Case Western Reserve University
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Science Internship Rejection:
ProNAi labs
Any if not at all acceptances:
Microbiology teaching assistant position

I feel so incredibly transparent and worthless. Yea I'm smart...but what the HECK does that mean in the context of it all? Nobody seems to want me! I'm just lost as to how I can finally go about and start making something of myself. And it's hard. You know what I most want? I want to be able to do all of the following:
1. successfully have classes @ WMU
2. work @ S2 lab
3. TA
4. Work at a mahvelous pharmaceutical company
5. Get accepted to a gorgeous med school

None of the last two have occured yet. *hmm* *wonders why*

L O S E R
*that is all* :(

The Universe = WSOGMM

..The Whole Sort Of General Mish Mash. ;D

O dear Zarquon! It's been a good break..a much needed break. I have come to reevaluate my life from so many perspectives that I think I am kind of insane, for those of you who thought I already was, kindly add a 'little more' to that. :)

I worked my butt off at the lab in the beginning, got some results, and then confused the heck out of myself there on out. Currently, I'm still deep in confusion bliss as to what on planet..um, for a change, not Zarquon or Earth..Pluto! ..um..what on Pluto has been happening to my protein and thereby my results. So I gave up and yelled at myself a ton, and then my family decided to kidnap me and take me to Chicago for New Years! *awesome giggles* It was wicked cool..we did some indian grocery shopping, and I got to see fireworks TWICE!!!! Once at 12 and the second time at 7 the next day at Navy Pier. And the best part..I got to go to Shedds Aquarium!!!!!! *pees pants* OMG..I read this one natal birth chart thing-a-ma-jig doo-daah once that said I would be one who would be enraptured/fascinated with water and sea voyages. I swear, its true. I absolutely am fascinated by how wonderful life under water is. We know SO little about it! I can't imagine that we know even 15% about the oceans or their inhabitants yet. Goodness me...my family was really really excited to see the dolphins dance, but what was even better...was to see the Beluga whales wave their tails, spit at us, and play with basketballs and frizbee's! I LOVE WHALES!!!! If I were to ever be any organism but human, I would be a blue whale, and my trip to Shedds has definitely profoundly expanded my perspective on how much capacity to learn whales have too! They do just as much as dolphins, if not more! When the trainers were feeding them the would chatter and chirp really loud..I mean they have to to communicate over long distances right? And there was a baby Beluga only 6 months old, who had never before been trained and was playing with the basketball that was meant for the adult whales to play with. *smacks self for ending in preposition* But it was so incredible that even the trainers were surprised! And just the sheer size, of watching this huge beautiful white creature elegantly swim past you, or sometimes come right up against the rail where you're standing and spout water was breathtaking. I think I spent like 3 hours overally at the Beluga whale exhibit.

Apart from that, we saw otters ..um, doing it. At first they were just twirling around together, and everyone around us including us were pretty mesmerized by what was happening, and trying to guess why these two otters were so enraptured with each other. Well, big surprise. During some 'readjustment' the male otter's penis bobbed out for about 10 seconds for all of us to burst out laughing, blushing, and whatever else people do when they see an otter's penis, and then it bobbed back in. There on out, all of us who knew told newcomers of our new-found knowledge, and they'd giggle and gasp as if to say "really?!"...and we'd say.."yup, truly, and we promise." But when the male and female weren't actually 'attached' it was really pretty, because they would grasp eachother as if kissing and twirl around for a few minutes, up and down in the column of water totally oblivious to the other otter in the tank. It really was pretty cool.

And the humongous sea turtle in the reef exhibit had a HUGE crack on its shell, and we assumed that it was an injury. So everytime it tried to swim through the water it would only use its front two fins, whereas the two behind would just lag behind like a huge burden or unnecessary weight to carry around. All other turtles we saw used all four fins to swim.

Ofcourse, it was a beautiful day, and the Chicago skyline could not have been more perfect or more beautiful. It was only my mom, dad, and I that day, and wow..it was one of the best times of my entire life. I did wonder and dream about what would happen if I happened to fall into the Beluga whale tank..like would they attack? But that shall be solved by some wiki'ing.

:D O, and A MARVELOUS HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007 to all of you!!!!!! I hope it's grandiose and magnanimously fun! *mwa*