Monday, December 31, 2007

What I've Done..

~What I've Done, Linkin Park

HaPpY nEw YeAr 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

el mirador...

I saw I am Legend recently, and OH ME's awesome! I ALSO happened to be at Meijer and heard some really really stupid girl claim it "sucked." *scoffs* SHE didn't know what she was talking about...WHATSOEVER.

(psst..look away if you haven't seen it yet)

That movie brought to light so many realities, the most obvious of which is whether or not a human could possibly SANELY survive ALL ALONE (with or without a pet) on this planet. This guy survives for 3 incredible years! That's insanely amazing! The philosophical part of me wonders if I'd be able to beat the feels like I'd finally be at peace with no other humans around. I'd have the whole world to myself. Nothing but my survival and more importantly, my enlightenment to satiate my worth. No money. No objects to "demonstrate" my "value." Just my thoughts, and the world. Alone.

That would be beautiful.

I think in doing that I really COULD survive much longer. If everything on earth was just left as it is, and there were no humans OR zombies here (except all other creatures), then I'd be pleasantly surprised. I'd take a long walk as far as I could go. Maybe I'd worry about my safety still, just from the shock of not having non-trustworthy humans around. (I know, double negative..DEAL) But mostly, I'd take my time to get away from any road, or building, or anything remotely human possible. I wonder if I'd give up clothing? ..Would I be THAT daring? Would you? Is it "daring" when nobody is around to judge you? Maybe I'd still be conscious of it because I've been taught to live with it, the whole "shame" thing. An animalistic part of me would disagree though. Who cares about shame anymore? It'd just be me, an animal just like another, surviving with the best of my instincts.

I'd be free. I'd see the ocean (not from an airplane)..I'd stare through super-powerful telescopes at night, and I'd definitely like to see a whale. I'd read forever and EVER. I'd just try to take it all in..try to actually understand the 'cosmic sound of truth'. As Franz Kafka once said: "It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking . . . in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet." ......all for nobody but me! :)

Alas, I wonder if the expression of "sociability" would honestly, eventually catch up. What if I'm not able to even survive a single year all alone simply because I'd go insane? If I did survive longer than this, I would most probably forget all lingual mannerisms. I'd invent my own language, and talk to myself (this is a definite). And I wonder if my dreams would be inhabited by humans? Would I be haunted by the thoughts of being all "alone?" Why does that word sound so scary sometimes?

Another important notion the movie brings up, which seems to have already begun, is the concept of humans being responsible for self-annihilation. Humans are exactly that...only human. We are BOUND to make mistakes. Scientists, even the most educated ones, are only human. I'm quite a firm believer of the idea that cancer and diabetes cannot fully be "cured" or "eradicated" as was Smallpox. There's too many complexities and consequences, too many unique events that characterize each disease in each individual. I HAD a hope once that this could happen, but since I entered the world of research I have come to the honest realization that this is unreal. Even if we do find something that is capable of eradicating a major disease, there's ALWAYS something else around the corner. We are parasites, mere competitors against EVERYTHING that's out there...odds are something's always going to stick around. In reference to the movie I Am Legend, death and the zombification of humans "stuck around." I'm a little glad that although the movie stretched the idea of "consequences for one's actions" theme with the cure to cancer, it was brought into the public limelight. They projected science as what it truly is...a search, and a hope...not ever fully a definite because everything changes. Things evolve.

Wow..I had all those pent up thoughts! :P I COULD go on for hours..but that'd bore the rest of my fellow homo sapiens to extinction (wait, this could be good for me *evil cackle*).

I'm just thankful for humans though, because I know my enlightenment could not have reached the almost amateur level at which it is without the knowledge and hard work of others. And I'm thankful to experience love...that'd be difficult to understand if I were all alone. The thought of having nobody to "die for" but myself, seems selfish.

ok ok..I'll stop now! :D

*oops* ONE more thing:

"Mirador" by Efterklang (a.k.a. this band has the BEST MUSIC EVUH!!!!!!!)

Friday, December 28, 2007

*flies* *WATCHOUT peeps!*

The GENIUS that is WikiHow:

How to Pretend to Fly :

Have you ever wanted to do a dangerous stunt that will make you feel like you are flying, but were too scared to try skydiving? This wikiHow will tell you how to fly. In your own backyard!


  1. Choose a destination to fly too.
  2. Spread your arms.
  3. Flap them wildly in the air.
  4. Make airplane sounds.
  5. Fly around, but make sure you avoid obstacles!
  6. If you meet a narrow pasage (that your arms do not fit through) do not close your arms, keep on going!
  7. Get the airplane to land on the ground.


  • To seem more of an idiot make honking noises.
  • If some one is hit by your airplane, say that you're sorry.
  • To fly higher wear a beanie cap.


  • Doing this will cause you to be more of an idiot than you are.
  • Never jump from a high height unless you can actually fly.

Things You'll Need
  • Imagination
  • A big backyard

and you have to be a loser. and make sure that somebody has a video camera so they can show you later when you become sober.


Thursday, December 20, 2007

it was friday yesterday...

and the trash guy took out all the trash.


i'm free.

Friday, December 14, 2007

here i stand...

I sometimes stand here, on this small Earth,
And I am all alone.
It is pristine -
The silence.

I sometimes am here, in the middle of the Universe,
And I am not alone anymore.
It is mesmerizing -
The lights.

I sometimes am here, nowhere,
And I am complete.
It is dark.
The wholeness of nothing.

~me :)


I wrote that..just on a whim..right now. :D

It's freakin' copyrighted! So don't you DARE steal it without my permission! Or my wholeness will track you down and shin-kick you...and if you ain' been shin kicked by me yet...lemme tell got something coming for you. *grr*

Ok i'll stop being mean now. :P

Monday, December 10, 2007


Latest music crush = Feist!!! *swoons MASSIVELY* :D

*adds* :)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

student? O_o


I walked forth into Sawall for some oh so wonderful, MARVELOUS organic foodstuffs. (naan) ...The service there is usually, actually ALWAYS wonderful! I get a bright smiley face, that immediately recognizes me for the unmistakable "student" that I am and thereby get a 10% discount on all my organilicious goods. *savors new wordage*

ALAS! Twere the eve of today and in joyous beeps of cashier glory an ugly stare bore into mine and demanded a student ID!!!! OMG. SERIOUSLY? Let me emphasize the seriousness of the seriosity:

1. It's 50 below zero degrees outside
2. I'm on my way home from an EXHAUSTING day of work
3. I look like a nerd
4. Correction...I look like a 2 year old!
5. And sound like one too!
6. Namely, I am THE ETERNAL STUDENT!!!!!
8. Did 4 years with 3 degrees not earn me THAT much?
9. Where have all eternal student rights gone?!
10. Even despite me giving her the "you're S***ing me right?" look...she said, quite rudely, "i need your id."
11. I RAN 5 minutes in the cold to my car, buried in the midst of 74,973,892,359 billion other cars in the cold, and almost slipped on the way there and back!
12. When I got back, she asked for my credit card, WHICH SHE ALREADY TOOK FROM ME BEFORE!!!!!
13. whodda hell
14. Where am I going with this numbering thing?

I suppose the above is a well organized (?) outline of my argument. I was poopered, and flustering with anger, completely bamboozled that the one location that had in my imagination remained pure of all such commercial-rule evilty was forever gone. Before, back when I was "young" and apparently still a "student" *cringes* Sawall didn't even have a place for their shopping carts. Heck! They didn't even HAVE shopping carts! They had BASKETS! You had to work hard for organic food! This time, they had 50,429,374,289 trillion shopping carts aligned in these commercially consumer-popular cart holders, and there were 90% more Sawall people (Sawallese?) lurking around pretending to wholesomely enrich the shelves.

All of it..the purity of untainted now forever gone!

*poof* :( *flails*

I hate when life gets real. But thus it is. And it is thus.

Monday, December 03, 2007

"holy crazy ass winds batman!!" -Cyborg

Um....i think it means:

I went to D&W w/ dad today, and OF NO ACCORD, I let this woman pass us w/ a shopping cart, when she turned around, and said to my dad "Your daughter is wonderful!"

me: WTF

I suck, why do i freakin smile at strangers?!


"My life makes me (happy) my music makes me (happy)
I musta chased the dark clouds away
Cause today I feel (happy.. happy)
My people make me (happy) my music makes me (happy)
Cause I ain't always (happy)
I musta chased the dark clouds away" -Evidence

Saturday, December 01, 2007