Thursday, February 28, 2008


ok'll take the nightmares :P

a month's not SO bad!!! *BWAAHAHAHAHA*

*heppily skips away*


I hereby proclaim my immense love for tomatoes. *SWOONS* Oh my god. Life would be HELL without tomatoes! I love tomatoes.

Eat tomatoes and you shall be saved!

*ends passionate proclamation*

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I have a recurring nightmare. In it, I'm usually living in some high-rise building (surrounded by other high rise buildings) with a balcony or terrace of some kind. It starts out differently each time, but somehow me, and my family and many times a few friends are looking at the sky in celebration of something. Last night, the event was that the city had finally developed some very sophisticated and novel space technology (I can't remember it's exact function anymore) and it had been launched into the sky. So everyone's out on their terraces/balconies looking up. And...since this dream is recurring, there are obvious signs as to when things begin to go wrong. Apparently, "my city" is familiar with this sign as well.

So what's the sign? It's a sort of firework that explodes in the sky, at different locations in the sky (like a mark where an attack is going to take place) and once it explodes it remains there as an ominous reminder to avoid that place. It's like a mark. It's not as if those looking into the sky can immediately tell what it's about..but rather akin to "hmm, that's strange." And ultimately, those of "us" who have experienced it before gasp and realize what it is about and frantically begin to make our escape.

This mark (or similar signs in the sky dispersed at locations of attack) is consistent throughout numerous dreams I've had and every time atleast one of them is above the building I'm in.

And what is it we're running away from? Some sort of mass bombing. Not just your ordinary "lets blow this building up" kind of bombing, but more like...*GET THE F* OUT OF HERE BEFORE WE'RE HIT* A few weeks ago, I was actually alone in the dream and I was attempting to rescue a fragile old man who kept vanishing and left behind different limbs for me to grasp instead. (I KNOW...FREAKY RIGHT?!)

This time, I can't recall exactly what or how, but I know my friend John's in the dream, and there's two other people but I can't remember...and we end up running with the crowd into some sort of mass barrack system for protection. Our cabin is a pale yellow tin box with bunk beds and about 10-20 squished in together. And there's no windows, just one door. And the last thing I remember about it is everyone running to lock the door b/c our cabin's about to be bombed.

Two nights ago, instead of ending up at these baracks, I ended up at my house with mom and dad. And a railway track ran parallel to our front door, and through our front yard and driveway. And it's almost time for my dad and I to go to work so we're getting ready to leave when massive numbers of cars and trucks and trains travel through the train tracks blocking our driveway. It's really strange b/c these tracks have never EVER been used (apparently) and all of a sudden there's goods trains and automobiles running on them! I remember looking around for whether or not we're the only one's who've noticed but can't remember what I ended up concluding. When I woke up, it was EXACTLY time for my dad and I to leave for work.


I don't know what any of it means. I just know that I've had this whole "me in a high rise building running away saving people and myself for protection from some sort of bombings or mass attack" more than 10 times.

I used to have an elevator nightmare, where I'd step into a dark elevator and it'd go down and ..then who knows but i'd tremble and sweat when I woke up...but that seems almost childish now. It's gone. I even tried to remember it one time, and it didn't scare me anymore.

I just wonder that in catching my dreams how many nightmares will I have to live through? One month seems killer.

Friday, February 22, 2008

instead of yo numba'...

Can you gimme yo address? ;)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Day before yesterday, I went to a house-warming with my friend Lin. And, when I was walking out towards my car in the parking lot, a silver car was backing out, and it hit the back of my car. I screamed, and yelled and he just sped away.

It was too dark to observe the license plate number. *flails* But fortunately, I looked at the back and there were no dents or scratches.

Today, I went to the post office to mail something, and it was really crowded so I parked in the only vacant spot (and it was at the end of the lot next to the thru-way). I came back to pick up dad from his office, and OMG, there's like a 1 inch gaping separation between the body and bumper on the right back side of my car! AND, there's like a bajillion huge scratches, and a small chunk of the right tail-light is missing!


Seriously! I freaked out that I may not have seen the previous incident more carefully, but looking at it now, you'd think I'd NOTICE that HUGE GAPING SPACE!!! And OH MY GOD! Is this how humans work? Someone else's property matters shit compared to our own doesn't it?! Is that how we want to live? Isn't it how we live?!!!


WHY can't we be honest? Responsible for our own acitons?! KINDER?!!!!!!!

WHY DO THERE HAVE TO BE 1000 BAD people for every GOOD one?!

Please...PLEASE. If you EVER hit someone else's car without them knowing, or do anything as vile and indecent as drive away from the scene, please reconsider your selfishness, and how, BECAUSE OF SUCH BEHAVIOUR OUR WORLD IS AS IT IS!


Monday, February 18, 2008

*smacks forehead*

*ahem* ..for those of the "girls" who apparently RULE at math..she forgot the C.

:P i miss calculus a lot :(

a lot a lot + C
where C = a "button"

Sunday, February 17, 2008

the egg and the yolk

I woke up today, slightly enlightened.

I was looking at a glimmer of the sun through my blinds, and my eyes, having the less-than-perfect ability that they do without contact lenses, seemed to show me a long dull band of light with a blurry but fiery core. The first thing that came to mind was (obviously if you know me you'd think I'd see this) a galaxy.

A sombrero galaxy. On my ceiling.

My thought continued. This time it was an atom. The center - a nucleus of protons and neutrons surrounded by a haze of electrons.

An atom. In my mind.

And then the final image appeared, in which I felt momentarily enlightened. It was a cell, the center - a cluster of DNA and protein, surrounded by a sea of organic and inorganic molecules.

A cell. In my body.

I reveled in my self-discovery. But thought nothing of it and brushed my teeth. But just now another image came to mind. That of an egg, and it's yolk immersed in a white cocoon. It seems too incredible. It's too profound. Everything has a center. Everything has a nucleus. Everything revolves around an impetus. The nucleus of an atom, to the nucleus of a cell, to a yolk of an egg, to the center of a galaxy. There is always a center. I wonder if it's mere coincidence. And honestly, it probably is. As a human I WANT to make it seem like there IS a rhyme and reason to the pattern. But there probably isn't. Pff...just the thought astounds me though. How could this be?

How could I have not seen this before?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

i'm letting go...

Deep in this anatomy
Deep in this anatomy

All is determination
To make it make sense
All is determination
You can find it if you...

Just let go, just let go, just, let it go

Stripped to the core

Robbed of ration
Instinct gives rise
Robbed of ration
Audacious and precise

The body lunges forward
Defeating time.........

You can find it if you......

Just let go, let it go, just, let it go

Make it make sense
The violence of the gesture
Make it make sense
Cutting through space
Make it make sense
The face
The effort to be made
The face, the face, the face
The enemy

Just let go, let it go, just, let it go


Monday, February 11, 2008


I talked to you that long! :D

Oh how time does fly. :P

Sunday, February 10, 2008


I found this animation the other day. It caught my eye simply because of the title, which just so happens to be my favorite word of all (apart from quintessence, but that's beside the point). *continues* I suppose it shouldn't surprise me, but the object of the quest is the "elixir of life," aka. water. And I stopped to think of the beauty of such a simple molecule. Just the fact that it is bent bestows it with the fluidity in its movements, the symmetry of it's crystal structures, and the ability to truly define life as it is.

More importantly, I found myself defining what MY quest in life is. But the answer came almost immediately - enlightenment, Ultimate understanding. I can't say I'm even close to waking up from the sandy beach much less oozing into the oceans of my reward, but I've at least recognized that there IS a sandy beach...that my pursuits hold some merit, and that they are true to who I am. Maybe I will loose some sandy parts to myself, maybe I will disintegrate. But maybe I will find myself finally free of having to associate structure with everything.

I once heard a physicist describe what space was truly like. It's not everything it's hyped up to be. There aren't magnanimous stars and nebula's everywhere you look, no dazzling light to brighten the darkness, and certainly no galaxies to color the Universe's sky. At any given point in the vast Universe there are no lights, no atoms. It's pure empty. Structureless. Disassociated from and with everything, but also so unified. It's incomprehensible to me though, simply because I cannot appreciate it for what it truly is. That's only one little part of what I seek to fully respect. Just one.

And there's always so much more to understand. No, I don't think I've woken up from my sandy slumber. But I do know there is a beach. I can't wait to ooze into sand, survive paper tornadoes, crumble beneath rocks, and be obliviated by metal. I can't wait to reach my water. My elixir of life. The only thing that keeps me whole.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

*pulls hair*


I JUST SPENT $4oo.oo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


..I take back that one time I said I was financially responsible. I TAKE IT BACK FERVENTLY! I'm the biggest spendthrift in the world!


Monday, February 04, 2008

Fo' Jeebus-Booty :P

Ode to Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in England. We take English for granted,
but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks
who grew up speaking English should be committed to
an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send
cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that
smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

:D Why Jeebus? WHHHYYYY?!!!!