Tuesday, January 27, 2009

it really looks like this...

When I saw the Milky Way, it looked exactly the same! *swoon*

And OOO! I found a beautiful poem! It's written by a governing member of the Adler Planetarium in Chicaga. I couldn't help but notice its relevance to the quote "We are a way for the Universe to know itself." More importantly, I couldn't help but notice the awe I felt as I read it, because it exactly sums up how I feel every time I look at the stars, or dream of them, or fly around in my purple spacejet surrounded by them. What can I say? I live vicariously through outer space. *oops* Not to mention, if I could think of a favorite mythical being (I know I love dragons by the Ananda Proxy), it would be the Phoenix. Alas, I'll save that discussion for another day, when I don't have an exam.

So relax, look up at the stars in your mind (because I know it's bitter cold outside), and enjoy. :)


Beneath the first of three stars in a row,
where lie the remnants of giants long dead,
I caught the light of a nebulous glow--
A glow that gave rise to an equine head.
So grand it seems that from this cosmic pair
of stellar nursery and stellar grave,
worlds will emerge, lit by a new star’s glare--
Phoenixes reborn from the lives they gave.
I pondered this cloud with great persistence
and found a glimmer of an answer long sought
to the question of our own existence.
By travel-weary photons I’ve been taught
that the cosmos created eyes in me
so it can gaze and have itself to see.

~Eric Francis Diaz

Copyright © 2001 Eric F. Diaz

Thursday, January 22, 2009

a bit of enlightenment

The first momentous non-trail descent! O.o

amanda: gawd, i'm already tired of studying

me: you have NO IDEA how much i relate
i'm about to collapse
i've got piza in the oven
amanda: mmm pizza
Sent at 2:09 PM on Thursday
amanda: i just made a salad and some hard-boiled eyes
me: um..
human eyes?
amanda: eggs
me: hhaaha
i'm bloggin' this
amanda: sometimes... i'd like to boil my eyes
usually close to test-taking time. Like now.
me: haha
mine are boiled already...want mine?
i bet they taste very spicy
amanda: lol probably

Saturday, January 17, 2009

never settle

Every time I go home, to my home in India, I come back more alive than I had left. It takes a lot for that to happen, but it's as though my heart beats faster, more forcefully, more excitedly in my homeland. Just seeing Indian soil is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Fortunately (or unfortunately), this time fate endeavored to keep me away from any of my beloved window seats. One flight, I actually sat next to a window, except it was painted over. The point of having a window there...? Beats me. Not to mention the ~10 day flight delay battle mom and I fought. I'm not going to grace the havoc of airports and flights with more words.

I visited a lot of family members, and it's astounding how many of them will show up just to get a glimpse of you, to hold your hand, give you a hug after years of distance. I miss them a lot. And then there always the ones who saw me last when I was a 2 year old, and they'd point and say "Oh my GOD! You were *THIIIIIIS* (hand waving) little when I last saw you!!!" FO seriously. Am I supposed to remember them? *roll eyes* My best friend shed tears in the darkness at the elevator when I left. I laughed and told her not to cry, but cried myself when I got back. My brother has already called me numerous times.

This trip was different. I went trekking in the Himalaya's with my brother and uncle. Holy shit. Repeat: I went trekking in the HIMALAYA'S!!! No words could do justice to how beautiful it was. It was hard, but I just kept climbing. I just kept climbing. At one point we reached a clear patch of grass and I just lay down my feet pointed uphill and my eyes staring at an entire mountain range upside down. I laughed for a good 30 minutes staring at it all. Must have been the low oxygen content. :) It does things to my neurons. Moreover, I have never ever seen the colors turquoise and green like I did there. The moss on the trees appeared to glow, and the blue in the streams and rivers would never let my happiness rest. One highlight was when my brother (cousin) and I stopped to tie my shoelace a leaf fell down from the top of the mountainside and landed right next to my foot, almost like a welcome offering. Later along the route we found a bright red flower on the moss, and picked it up, only to forget it at a tree where we rested. It was almost like the mountains offered us a leaf, and we offered a flower in return. Ofcourse, this is me choosing to see significance in such moments.

When we reached our final campsite, Dhakuri, we were utterly exhausted. I swear, the last 1km was a descent, and holy shit, I could have sprained my ankle SO MANY TIMES because of the steepness of it. The locals literally run down it. I tried that, but failed due to my wuss-ass fear of tearing my lower limbs apart over the rocky terrain. The descent trail was literally one unstable stone after another, so much so that we didn't even take the trail but rather went straight down through the forests. Three hours later, we were eating the best food I have ever had in my life. They have magic in their hands! From what a city person would consider extremely simple food, the locals there could mould it into an amazing dish made over freshly chopped wood, such that you could taste the smoke...I know it sounds really weird, but it litereally changes the food - eg. it makes the bread sweet.

Anywho, I spent an awesome week up there. For once in my life...just being. Oh, and I saw the entire Milky Way. Fuck yeah!

I remember this comment and poem on a journal entry I wrote on my way back down:

"The locals say you have to have a pure heart to make it up. When I was there I believed it. Maybe a part of me still does. But no human is pure at heart. I think the trick was 'where there is a will, there is a way,' such that I willed myself into thinking I was pure at heart and worthy of the journey. How the mind fools the mind never fails to astound me. That is the challenge of life.

And we're stoned.
We're high tonight.
We're high above the ground tonight.
We're on a cliff tonight;
Stones on a cliff

Ready to fall
Towards gravity."

So I'm back where gravity resides. My feet are planted. And I've decided never to settle for anything less than the heights I know I can reach. And in all honestly, neither should you.

Happy New Year! :)