lately...

:)

on a post spree...

(Latest drawing - copyrighted!)

I saw the moon yesterday. It didn't look like a jewel, nor delicate. It looked real - a rock that's been hit and bears the scars, unhidden by the Sun's blinding light. It wasn't a smooth globe, but rather its edges suffered from shadows of vast craters and undulations of peaks. Even for me to imagine or compare its magnitude to where I stood was strangely intangible. But here's the irony - in all its cragged glory, I still admired it and watched blinded, in awe. It is the one object I could realistically see in such detail. I appreciated a true sense of perspective when looking at stars like Polaris, or other vague objects seemingly invisible to the naked eye in comparison to this bright mass hanging in a vacuum.

Why is it there? And why am I here?

There is a reason. THERE IS A REASON TO THE MADNESS OF ORDER!!!

*SOOO HAPPY*

This post, is wholeheartedly dedicated to my friend Chris, who just got accepted into Albert Einstein's College of Medicine (Yeshiva University)!!!!!!

Like holy crap. For those of you who don't know how EFFIN' GORGEOUS that school is, let me tell you...IT'S AMAZING!!!!! There used to be a time in my life where I just dreamed night after night of getting accepted there, to be immersed in the culture and populace that is the Bronx, and everything that comes with the host of experiences at AECOM. For me to even know someone who is going to be one of the greatest physicians EVER, much more, for me to have studied with, spent a good few hours writing letters of intent (*flail*), discuss our passions for medicine, and other wondrous moments of nerdiness ...is phenomenal!

He waited SOOOOO long for this moment! Congrats Chris! You waited SO patiently!

I AM SO PROUD! :D *beams*

electromagnetism

It's really interesting how far the human mind has come in regards to our perception/definition/belief that belies the term "God." Sometimes it seems our minds are SO convoluted and limited even when considering the most expansive theories, simply because our use of language to concretly describe sentiments and beliefs sometimes eludes us from self-enlightenment? Some things just aren't meant to be defined, or tagged, bagged, and owned. Right? O.o

According to Persinger,

God (n.): "When the right hemisphere of the brain, the seat of emotion, is
stimulated in the cerebral region presumed to control notions of self, and then
the left hemisphere, the seat of language, is called upon to make sense of this
nonexistent entity, the mind generates a "sensed presence."

"'Seeing God' is really just a soothing euphemism for the fleeting awareness of ourselves alone in the universe: a look in that existential mirror. The "sensed presence" - now easily generated by a machine pumping our brains with electromagnetic spirituality - is nothing but our exquisite and singular self, at one with the true solitude of our condition, deeply anxious. We're itching to get out of here, to escape this tired old environment with its frayed carpets, blasted furniture, and shabby old God. Time to move on and discover true divinity all over again."

I get lost in such conundrums often. :P It's mind boggling! And then I read such wonderful quotes by philosophers such as Rumi:

"Why should I seek? I am the same as He. His essence speaks through me.
I have been looking for myself!" :)

(To clarify, I'm not attacking any beliefs/religions but rather presenting a different point of view)

sometimes, this happens to me...O.*

I like to call it Broken Neuron Syndrome.

swimming in a green sea

I wrote this while sitting in my backyard today:
The moving blades of grass and undulating shadows of trees pushed by wind makes it look like an ocean - a sea of green over which I look, Godlike. This is how small I am. To think I reign this small sea that is my backyard shows me what truly is my immediate environment. I wonder why it's so difficult to imagine it - to grasp the completeness of the Universe. Then again, maybe this small green sea is quite magnificent. Maybe the part I reign contains just enough for my mind to completely know and pour my atoms into. The butterflies, insects, microbes, grains of soil and minerals, water, air, atoms and component quarks, everything my green sea contains - I AM. Every natural instinct of the squirrel treading the blades and shadows to get food or leave its mark, is my instinct. Ironic how once you begin to realize how "a part of everything" you are, it's impossible to break away.

Would I rather be separate, or would I prefer immersion?

Question: What would you prefer?

"PLUTOID?!!!!"

IS THIS FOR REAL?! Apparently,

"Now an IAU committee, meeting in Oslo, has suggested that small, nearly
spherical objects orbiting beyond Neptune should carry the "plutoid" tag. The IAU's Committee on Small Body Nomenclature has now decided that dwarf planets that move beyond Neptune should be placed in a new sub-category, the plutoid. " ~BBC

Remember that time I requested squirmy old men locked in a room need to quit deciding the fate of the Universe? I guess they need hearing aids! I think I'm just furious still that Pluto was demoted, and thus any reference of it feels like stoking coals to the fire in my heart. As IF it wasn't bad enough that it's a dwarf planet (*cough* NOT *cough*) they now demoralize it further by categorizing it with other LESSER MORTALS...i mean...LESSER PLANETS! There..I said it! Whatchu gonna do old men? Huh? Huuhhh?! HUUUHH??!

*looks of dare*

*HAHA* OMG I just saw this about Pluto's Fury.

the thangs...

... images of space do for me: (note: Sagittarius arm! :) )New Coworker: "Why are you so happy all the time?"
Me: *speechless*

What I SHOULD HAVE said:

Cook 1: "How can you be so cheerful? We've been on duty for 12 hours."

Cook 2: "I have a weak wall in a blood vessel at the base of my brain. If I get too stressed out, it could explode and kill me."

Cook 1: "*"

GO RED WINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY EFFS! They were MADE for it!

I'd say all my of-late hyperness is definitely well spent egging on the defiance of the Red Wings against some great teams they've played. I'm not saying they flew through it like a breeze - anything but! There have been SO many close calls and it just brings to light how I can't ever imagine how much strength, perseverance, and bloody talent it takes to get to the Stanley Cup Finals, much less WIN IT! Last night was SUPERB!!!! I've watched some of my best friends maul and get mauled out there in the rink, and one of them doesn't even wear a helmet (he's a daredevil this one)! When players don't wear their helmet ...I sort of freak out! I mean, I'll lay it out there...all the good ones are GOOD LOOKING...QUIT MESSING WITH THAT!

Aaaanywho. *shifty eyes* Fantastic season!!!! :D (but it doesn't end here)

I for one, seem to have NO coordination as of late. Last Sunday, I went running and sprained the CRAP out of my left ankle. Then, yesterday, I decided to take my bike around the citae ...and uh, ended up falling off it(don't ask how *more frantic shifty eyes*), and now I have a gargantuan stab wound on my palm. It was definitely one of those, "Oh shit, wtf is happening? JUST PRETEND LIKE YOU WANTED TO FALL OFF AND IT DOESN'T HURT, THEN SPEED THE HELL AWAY FROM THE SCENE" (which is what I did). O.o I just hope nobody saw me, b/c I'm thinking of running that same route soon and I don't want any "witnesses" going "LOOK! It's that girl who FELL OFF HER BIKE! *huh huh*"

So yeah. JOY! :) Can't live without it.

*edit*
John: "Sup, G?!"
Me: "G = Universal gravitational constant??"
John: "You dork"

INVULNERABLE

"I am the happiest (wo)man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles, fortune hath not one place to hit me."

~Thomas Browne, Relegio Media (1642)

dx/dt

*sigh* I miss deriving. :P

BUT HOMAN! I got to see Panic! At the Disco, Phantom Planet (SO AMAZING! <3), The Hush Sound, and Motion City Soundtrack (*cough* not a fan of the last one) this Saturday! Ofcourse, this DID mean getting effin' TRAMPLED and MAULED by 14-year old CRAZY FEMALE HUMANS. But fear not!..The Shruts had it under control. *rocks out*

Memorable lyrix by Panic:

"Things have changed for me, and that’s okay
I feel the same, I’m on my way, and I say
Things have changed for me, and that’s okay" ~The Green Gentleman

"If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don’t you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn" ~Northern Downpour

"They sang, so our matching legs are marching clocks
And we’re all too small to talk to god
Yes, we’re all too smart to talk to god
Oh, we’re all too smart to talk to god" ~Behind the Sea

knotice

So I know I haven't been the best at updating my blog this month. A LOT has happened! :D A lot of beautiful good things! For example...

I'M GOING TO MED SCHOOL!

At Michigan State University, College of Human Medicine. I cannot wait for this journey to begin. It's been so long since I've waited for this moment. Everything I have ever stood for during the past year had been shaken, and it seemed my entire foundation was uprooted on occasion. But in all of that commotion that was uncertainty, was the simple truth that everything in life is relative to your perspective. You shape what you see, what you feel, and what you become as a consequence of what you perceive..not just visually, but even subconsciously.

A wise professor once told me: "You are what you let your mind absorb."

In this very moment, I choose to absorb the wonderful uncertainty that is my future, the certainty that is my past, and the moment that is the present. In doing so, I choose to be who I am, true to myself.

I've written numerous poems these past few months, of which I'd like to share this one because of its relevance to this topic:

It feels like you're caught in a blaze
And staring at the fire.
As your eyes burn with fear,
Hatred and anger
All that was sanity
Brushed fire into straw
To make you go insane.

You're frozen forever-
Unable freedom
To speak, utter an emotion,
Live, breathe, or move.
Stiffled by the rigidity
That is the cold, you drown
Choking for warm air.

There is no warmth to lay
Solace to the cold
Nor water to calm the fire.
Here you stand broken,
Alone at a precipice-
Organic, molecular, atomic
And you are insignificant.

The fire, cold, warmth
Is relative.

~me (copyrighted)

i <3 UD

bad fuel day May 16

The mood or feeling one experiences after having just filled his or her vehicle with $4.00+ per gallon gasoline. (Usually consists of a sense of great economic despair, impending doom, anger, frustration, depression and/or a combination of all the above)

"Leave me alone. I'm having a bad fuel day!"

~Urbandictionary

The Prayer (is answered)

Lord, give me grace
And dancing feet
And the power to impress
Lord, give me grace
And dancing feet
Let me outshine the moon

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best
Runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you?

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice,
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle I will outshine them all

Standing on the packed dance floor

Our bodies throb in time
Silent on the weekdays
Tonight I claim what’s mine

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best
Runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you?

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice,
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle I will outshine them all

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice,
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And i will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle I will outshine them all

nonexistance

This beautiful song is called Cityscape, by Paper Route:

All the light crawls into your window (It's starting to wake you up)
Painting your walls with moving shapes
Back in the corner there's a shadow
That you'd swear was a cityscape

Now the light fills your room and eyelids
Now the light pulls you from your dreams
Sleep is a guilty vicious liar
It's nothing more than short relief.

the things God says...

Me: "So how's God doing?" (Dr. E says he's God) :P
Dr. Essani: "Not so good, the economy's ruining my mood."

Dr. Essani: "You know, marriage is like adopting somebody."

Dr. Essani: "When you're asleep you're in the same state as being nonexistant."
Me: "No way! I'm in my dreams!"
Dr. Essani: "No, you're nowhere!"
Me: *BLOODY FASCINATED*

8:10pm Dan: Have you heard of the Cassini?
Me: *within one second* the spacecraft exploring saturn's moons?
Dan: yeah http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassini-Huygens
8:11pm Me: damn i'm good! *high fives self*

I seriously didn't know I was so passionate about space so as to recall satellite missions at a moments notice! It's amazing! It was almost like a subconscious automatic response. Sometimes...I spend more than a few minutes remembering how much my tiny brain can handle. O.o

Extra Tidbit: :)

Katedra

My favorite animation of all time:



It almost makes me allegorize the Cathedral for the human body/mind. But it's strange...Ironically, every time I see the animation, and when the man becomes the pillar I feel free, when that's clearly not what's happening. A part of me feels like in becoming a part of the Cathedral he realizes his place/oneness with everything. That although he may have been a free-living, moving, and acting entity he was composed of nothing more than the dirt that composes the pillars.

And I have NO CLUE if any of that made any sort of sense! :P

This week has been SOO TREMENDOUSLY awesome! :D I traveled so much that my head's spinning! Along with the rest of me! I seriously, SERIOUSLY do not envision my future in life without traveling. It's what I live, and breathe for. I just wrote this, on a whim, ...again! :P

Feet,
Take me there.

Eyes,
Show me the Universe

Mind,
Feel freedom.

*copyrighted* :)

"Stay hungry, stay foolish."

Only then can you grow! :)

an animated war! 2! :)

So, a while ago I had posted an animation called Animator vs Animation...and there's a Version 2 out now! :O


Animator vs. Animation II by *alanbecker on deviantART

:P

1

You know, as human beings, we are selfish. That...is the plain truth. Call it survival of the fittest, our need to evolve as independent beings, arrogance, ignorance...whatever. It all boils down to the adjective selfish. And I suppose it's not just us. It's inherent in all living things. It's like "selfish" was written all over our genomes - in every protein's genetic code, in every molecular cycle that pumps out a product, in every movement of the cell. Replicate, replicate, replicate...for the sake of replication. Grow, grow, grow...for the sake of replication. Die, die, die...for the sake of replication.

I often forget that is our overall purpose here on earth. But ofcourse, there is more to the puzzle than just that. In order to successfully replicate, we must use tactics. That's why we have a brain. Wait...why do we have a brain? Because we need something to analyze all the signals that are out there. What signals? The ones that chemical messengers carry to the brain. Where do the messengers come from? That's where FEELING comes into play.

Tactics is all about feeling. An amoeba "feels" or more appropriately described "senses" it's way through a water droplet. A virus, no matter how un-lively it is, has those complementary proteins - the very same ones that, through the wonder that is thermodynamics, permits it to encounter a potential docking site (think about this one, how amazing is it that one virus particle can infiltrate our comparably massive bodies by interaction with just one cell?). A herd of lions feels its way through the tall brush towards their target. It's no different with humans. We feel just as much as all the other organisms in the world.

So does that mean that just as other critters and beings use feeling to survive, thrive, and conquer, so do we? ABSO-FREAKIN'-LUTELY! Our feelings are just that...tactics.

We've fortunately (or unfortunately) distanced ourselves from natural mammalian predators....except for the greatest. Which is ourselves! I happened to watch the movie Fitna, which is about how Islam is OOH so horrendous. And it got me thinking about all the feeling in this world, and what purpose it serves. Feeling is exactly like our Kryptonite. Except humans have multiple Kryptonites. Love and hate are just tactics that permit our survival/demise. When we love, when we hate...it's our feelings that protect the prospect of surviving. We have viruses that annhilate vast populations. Why? Because they too use tactics, "feelings," and determine our survival/demise. Then there's global warming. How could we forget? Be it our own cause, or just the environment making a racket - global warming IS real and IS a determining factor in our survival/demise. Call it the Earth using self-preservation tactics! And last, but not least, the greatest ...GREATEST human feeling = Religion.

Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, you name it!.....I'm fortunate to have learned to respect all of them. And maybe it's just a natural selection pressure. That we use "feeling" as a tactic to root everyone but "ourselves" out. The problem with that is though, religion = rifts. Religion = separation. Religion = divides. Need I say this any clearer?

Maybe this will do the trick:
All We Are, Fischerspooner


Lyrics:
The breaking light
Sparks the human strain
And it is the dawn
Relentless again

With endless arms
Hot, holy light
Radiates and then it all begins

Chorus
We are as one and one is all we are
We are as one and one is all we are

Inhaling quick
When I see your being
Can’t define
The divine
And I’m born again
The limitless is within my reach
Particles passing through a microcosm
That is all we are (chorus 2x)

I can’t define
It is divine (chorus 2x)

seva = to give

This is my city! GO AHMEDABAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I've already told all my friends there to go and check it out! And I can't wait to hear from them! :)

I think that giving, when brought hand-in-hand with the concept of spiritual oneness is the most uniting phenomenon.

...searching

the things AIR makes me wanna do...

Latest drawing: :P *COPYRIGHTED YO!*
Homan..the hands took FOREVUH! I usually suck at whole human body drawings (psst..which is why half of her body is covered by her hair *haha*), so I'm slightly relieved that she didn't turn out to be a green blob. :P (p.s. click image for larger view)

This week's been AWESOME! :) My bff came over to visit me..and HO BOY...was that fun! We furiously chomped down salsa chips, and mehican foodstuffs while discussing how marvelous fishing was! See? Girls talk about other stuff too! Then we hit the mall like the villians that we be, and we were so good that this weird-ass woman came up hoping to sell her nail-betterment crap to us...I was pretty much hosed and sucked into her monstrous plan from the beginning, but the Panda had it under control. We walked away unscathed, well, maybe my nail was ONE LAYER OF KERATIN THINNER! *questionable looks* And then we actually saw a book called "What's your Poo telling You?" ...FO REAL! :O *gross* And the ice cream...OH THE ICE CREAM! (I'll leave it at that) :P

Und then...Emil called. :D He had the wonderful honor of hearing me squeal over the phone. *haha* And my mom viciously mutilated me at Checkers...and as IF that weren't bad enough..dad beat the crap out of me at Chess too. *feels flogged*

Proof: Game 1, Mom = Black, Loser = Red: O.o
EDIT: Just got back from watching Jumper, they could have made it SOOO much better! *ugh*

nightmare ..again *.*

There's a white car, and me and a friend get in it (I don't know who, it's a young male with dark hair). We drive out of a parking space in a dark street ...somehow end up in a large building-type garage. The garage is almost isolated from any surrounding buildings, and open sky is visible. There are 4 tornadoes......I can see them through the openings on one side of the garage, and feel the wind, and there's an entire school-worth of kids in the garage who the two of us try to rescue and send to the basement (all the kids are dressed in white and looking at them makes me feel a little peaceful...and it even makes me help them calmly). We're on our way down...

Then I wake up.

What the hell is up with this whole disaster thing? It's not the first time tornado's have appeared in my dreams either. Remember when there's that firework sign, and then some bomb hits the building I'm in? Well, before it HAS occasionally been tornadoes instead of the bombs...like MANY MANY HUNDREDS of tornadoes!

I did a bit of research on all of this MADNESS (that is not Sparta, but Shruts!), and I read this somewhere:

"Many times, these dreams will accompany a time in the dreamer's life when he or she feels that the entire world is against them and only their association with something larger than themselves can provide a resolution."

"To rescue others, foretells that you will be esteemed for your good deeds."

*FLAIL*

Dreams confuse me to eternity and back! Apart from interpretations of dreams as described above, there are SO many theories as to why dreams exist. They can indicate your deepest desires, fears, emotional tantrums etc., they could just be a bunch of neuronal circuitry doing a number on you, and last, but most fascinatingly dreams could be a window into parallel Universes (source for last statement: The Holographic Universe). As if our conscious mind cannot handle the parallel Universes, it rather gives the unconscious mind to deal with the complexities of other realms? I would HATE for my Armageddon dreams to occur in parallel Universes, although I haven't exactly died in any ..yet *touches wood* they are pretty intense feelings. But wouldn't it be oh so awesome if my space dreams (which are waaay out of this Universe) were to actually occur to a parallel Shruts in some beautifully enlightened Universe?!

To that...I say *WEEEEEEEE* :D *bring eet* *snaps fingers stylishly*

Wouldn't that be the kewlest?! I'm starting a hand-written Dream Journal. ..Just because the rate at which these amazing dreams have been occurring lately is quite phenomenal! O.o

i seek...

"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."
                      ~William Blake

to infinity and beyond

Fractals fascinate me. They are a form of art that capture both the logical and emotional artifacts of my mind. Logical, in that the simplest mathematics can generate patterns that are infinitely collapsible or expansive (as in the Mandelbrot fractal on the right), and emotional in the beauty of infinity being tangibly but ironically intangibly described simultaneously.

You see, the Mandelbrot fractal specifically refers to the equation:

Z <=> X^2 + C

(Where C is a constant)

Therefore, substituting any possible number for X, yields a value for Z, which in turn is used as the subsequent value of X to lead to an infinitely expansive (as in the case of numbers larger than 1) or infinitely collapsible (for numbers smaller than 1, which would lead to Z values approaching 0) set of numbers. When graphed, Benoît Mandelbrot assigned the collapsible values to black colors, while numbers that extended to infinity were assigned different colors based on the rate at which they expanded towards infinity.

Thus, the famous Mandelbrot fractal was created. The coolest part however, is that no matter how infinitely far you zoom in, the pattern that any given value for X defines as the Mandelbrot graph is ever-present.

:) *ends randomness*

I bring all of that up because I sort of went through a very significant emotional whirlwind during the past two hours, and it made me think of infinity. I was watching this video my friend Dan sent me about ..you know, those ridiculous conspiracy "world is ending run for your freakin' life and make a space ship before earth goes to hell" kind of videos. And I had stopped right before the conclusion to it began, so OBVIOUSLY I was really distraught and almost crying when I told my dad that the entire powerful populace of the world has been planning to eradicate 93% of our population by 2012. (I fall for these like chocolate - *to panda: eg. "come closer, i will give you BOTH FOR THE PRICE OF ONE"*)

And then came the conclusion. *aaah* *BASKS*

*basks some more*

*still basking*

..Ok. I'll share now. :P

Remember a looong time ago I stated:

"Suddenly, you realize that what you are made of, is in so many ways connected to everything else that exists. That even our small solar system is composed of our Universe, that even our small hearts and minds are components of its energy! Some call it God, others just respect it as what holds everything together or makes everything fall apart." (is nothing something? October, '07)

That was their conclusion as well. Apart from all the fear and love (the two dominant emotions) that we feel in our lives, we are ULTIMATELY a part of the big picture, and that, in and of itself is worth living and dying for.

(VIEW VIDEO STARTING AT 8:40 minutes)


(I know, I know...some of it about the DNA sounds puhrrty quirky) :P
But hearing it from someone else saying it rather than my doubtful mind reiterating it to myself made it seem more concrete and hit home at light speed than turtle pace.

Oh! and I'm going to be coauthoring Dan's blog (link in links list also) in regards to nerdy techy sciency news that I might not mention here. I'm officially the "Science/Philosophy Beat." :D *ASTEROID*

*mooooooo*

Sooo...I watched some surgeriez todee w/ Johnny boy. :) Laproscopic bowel resectomy and appendectomy, and placement of a metal nail for a tibial fracture. *hmm* Innerestins ay? ;)

Basically, we stood for 5 hours. O.o

Me: *converses during surgery* "Yeah, when I was in India...*blah blah*"
John: "Oh yea, and how many cows were around? Were they like roaming the OR?"
Me: "Absolutely, I think there were like 4 or 5. And a few stray dogs. I think one was under the operating table."

John: *looking at tibial replacement w/ nail*
Me: "I've seen a TKR"
John: "OH yea? I bet they just went 'namaste - all done'" *does namaste w/ hands & bows*
Me: "Ofcourse! And *indian accent* 'thangu forrr tha monee'" ;)

*while cutting dude open*
John: "OH BOY!"
*BOTH OF US STARE AT THE FAT*
Me: "Yeah, if anybody wants to go on a diet, they should definitely watch a surgery first."

Needless to say, it was standing for 5 hours, plus a WHOLE LOT OF FUN! :D

<3'in life.

la comida

What keeps us alive? Food. It isn't surprising then, that apart from gas prices our biggest commodity - food - is becoming more expensive as well:

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7276971.stm

"Q&A: Rising world food prices

Wheat prices have risen 83% in a year. The price of wheat has doubled in the past year - and it is not the only foodstuff trading at a high price on the international commodity market. Things have got so bad that aid agencies are having to rethink their programmes. In the UK, pig farmers are protesting at Downing Street over the price of feed. BBC science correspondent Tom Feilden looks at the reasons why the era of cheap food may be coming to an end.

What is going on?
Prices are increasing sharply for some of the most basic foodstuffs traded on international commodity markets. The price of wheat has doubled in less than a year, while other staples such as corn and soya are trading at well above their 1990s averages. Rice and coffee prices are running at 10-year highs, and in some countries, prices for milk and meat have more than doubled.

Why are we seeing these increases now?
It could be the breakdown of the "Goldilocks era" for global commodities - a period stretching back more than 30 years, during which the price of basic foodstuffs has been neither too high nor too low, but remained relatively constant. For most of this period, the cost of staples such as wheat, corn and soya has actually fallen in real terms. But it seems this long period of stability is coming to an end. Most commentators believe we are on the cusp of a new era of volatility and rising prices.

What are the main causes?
The first reason why prices are rising is growth in the world's population, which is expected to top nine billion by the middle of the century. That is an incredible number of mouths to feed and will put pressure on a range of resources, including land, water and oil, as well as food supply.
But lurking behind the headline figures for population is an even more significant factor pushing up prices, and that's the economic miracle driving emerging economies such China and India. To put it bluntly, rich people eat more than poor people, and all this economic growth is generating a whole new tier of middle-class consumers.

What other factors are involved?
There is also the added environmental pressure all these extra people are loading onto the planet, as well as the impact of climate change.
Desertification is accelerating in China and sub-Saharan Africa, while more frequent flooding and changing patterns of rainfall are already beginning to have a significant impact on agricultural production. And global warming has played a significant role in another driver of rising prices: the shift in agricultural production from food to biofuels. Ethanol production is on course to account for some 30% of the US corn crop by 2010, dramatically curtailing the amount of land available for food crops and pushing up the price of corn flour on international commodity markets. "

So...not only have we got to think of our Earth and what we've done to it...but we have to become less and less selfish as more and more of everything that keeps us alive seems to keep vanishing because of our greed.

I just have one question..is there still hope for us?

Nerdy McLovin'

Hmmm....

I remember once upon a long long LOOOONG time ago I took Virology. And I remember being absolutely fascinated and astounded by the diversity with which viruses function. Essentially, DNA/RNA (nucleic acids) inherently program the most simplistic protection mechanisms that are seemingly "taken for granted" by host organisms (like multicellular organisms). For example, our body utilizes antigen-antibody recognition for a vast majority of cellular interactions. The complementary domains of proteins that interact and make love to each other produces an offspring of responses of which we have just a basic understanding. In the immune system, such binding elicits an ocean of responses ranging from increased cytokine production to production of bradykinin (responsive for pain) and even increases in body temperature caused by such "feverish" activity!

Yeah, we know how these proteins interact - how they bind, and thereby change structural motifs, and how such changes effect downstream responses. But most of us only get the chance to study one little pixel of the image that is a cell. In all that is complex and great, in everything that we as scientists attempt to study and understand what it all means, we often forget the beauty of complementary domains.

It is this immensely awe-inspiring event that is taken to full advantage by a virus in invading a host. Simply this. If anything, we as humans may attribute (as we so often do) "cleverness" in the form that is the virus. The nucleic acid encodes for what is perhaps THE prime example of the phrase survival of the fittest...the only things an organism needs to propagate are:

1) a host in which it can replicate
2) a way to get in.

This is essentially everything a virus is equipped with. Although all the classes of viruses that exist are fairly complex in structure, each part serves one of the above mentioned core purposes. A virus carries inside it nucleic acid, encoding a few essential proteins for replication in a host, surrounded by a barrier, which serves to not only protect but at same time is the mode of entry for just about every virus known to date. The very same nucleic acid encodes certain proteins which "MIRACULOUSLY" happen to display complementary domains to proteins in host organisms.

All that remains....is some McLovin'. ...

...

Ok that went too far...but *HAHA* :P

I say ALLL OF THE ABOVE in reference to this article that I've been instinctively waiting to come to light (in some respect or another it already has over the years):

http://www.technologyreview.com/Biotech/20363/

"In its experiment, the team transplanted glioblastoma--the most common and aggressive form of human brain cancer--into the brains of mice. Prior to transplantation, researchers genetically engineered the tumor cells to express a red marker, which, once inside the brain, would show up in laser microscopy scans. Similarly, Van den Pol inserted a green marker in VSV cells and injected the virus intravenously through the tail. Within a few days, researchers observed that the green virus found its way to the brain and selectively infiltrated red tumor masses and individual tumor cells, while avoiding normal cells. Van den Pol says that as the virus infects tumors, cancerous cells start to turn green, swelling up until they eventually burst."

The scientists claim that the mechanism of action may be the compromised immune status of tumorigenic tissue. But I am quite certain a specific "proteinaceous" marker permits VSV to specifically target the tumor cells. After all...if the experiment was done in immunocompromised rats, wouldn't you expect some other weakened tissues to be subjected to viral attack as well? (perhaps this team didn't study this?) Anyway, the article also concludes that the trial will be carried out with rats with normal immune responses (not immunosuppressed). (btw...the only reason the rats did not have an efficient immune system was b/c the researchers wanted to decrease rejection of the tumor transplant by the host)

Aaaanywho. *shifty eyes*

Quote of the day: "I'm a humanoid too. If you kewl with me, then I look past the void in you."

:P

ok ..so...i'll take the nightmares :P

a month's not SO bad!!! *BWAAHAHAHAHA*

*heppily skips away*

EDIT:

I hereby proclaim my immense love for tomatoes. *SWOONS* Oh my god. Life would be HELL without tomatoes! I love tomatoes.

Eat tomatoes and you shall be saved!

*ends passionate proclamation*

dreamcatchers

I have a recurring nightmare. In it, I'm usually living in some high-rise building (surrounded by other high rise buildings) with a balcony or terrace of some kind. It starts out differently each time, but somehow me, and my family and many times a few friends are looking at the sky in celebration of something. Last night, the event was that the city had finally developed some very sophisticated and novel space technology (I can't remember it's exact function anymore) and it had been launched into the sky. So everyone's out on their terraces/balconies looking up. And...since this dream is recurring, there are obvious signs as to when things begin to go wrong. Apparently, "my city" is familiar with this sign as well.

So what's the sign? It's a sort of firework that explodes in the sky, at different locations in the sky (like a mark where an attack is going to take place) and once it explodes it remains there as an ominous reminder to avoid that place. It's like a mark. It's not as if those looking into the sky can immediately tell what it's about..but rather akin to "hmm, that's strange." And ultimately, those of "us" who have experienced it before gasp and realize what it is about and frantically begin to make our escape.

This mark (or similar signs in the sky dispersed at locations of attack) is consistent throughout numerous dreams I've had and every time atleast one of them is above the building I'm in.

And what is it we're running away from? Some sort of mass bombing. Not just your ordinary "lets blow this building up" kind of bombing, but more like...*GET THE F* OUT OF HERE BEFORE WE'RE HIT* A few weeks ago, I was actually alone in the dream and I was attempting to rescue a fragile old man who kept vanishing and left behind different limbs for me to grasp instead. (I KNOW...FREAKY RIGHT?!)

This time, I can't recall exactly what or how, but I know my friend John's in the dream, and there's two other people but I can't remember...and we end up running with the crowd into some sort of mass barrack system for protection. Our cabin is a pale yellow tin box with bunk beds and about 10-20 squished in together. And there's no windows, just one door. And the last thing I remember about it is everyone running to lock the door b/c our cabin's about to be bombed.

Two nights ago, instead of ending up at these baracks, I ended up at my house with mom and dad. And a railway track ran parallel to our front door, and through our front yard and driveway. And it's almost time for my dad and I to go to work so we're getting ready to leave when massive numbers of cars and trucks and trains travel through the train tracks blocking our driveway. It's really strange b/c these tracks have never EVER been used (apparently) and all of a sudden there's goods trains and automobiles running on them! I remember looking around for whether or not we're the only one's who've noticed but can't remember what I ended up concluding. When I woke up, it was EXACTLY time for my dad and I to leave for work.

O.o

I don't know what any of it means. I just know that I've had this whole "me in a high rise building running away saving people and myself for protection from some sort of bombings or mass attack" more than 10 times.

I used to have an elevator nightmare, where I'd step into a dark elevator and it'd go down and ..then who knows but i'd tremble and sweat when I woke up...but that seems almost childish now. It's gone. I even tried to remember it one time, and it didn't scare me anymore.

I just wonder that in catching my dreams how many nightmares will I have to live through? One month seems killer.

instead of yo numba'...

Can you gimme yo address? ;)

*fumes*

Day before yesterday, I went to a house-warming with my friend Lin. And, when I was walking out towards my car in the parking lot, a silver car was backing out, and it hit the back of my car. I screamed, and yelled and he just sped away.

It was too dark to observe the license plate number. *flails* But fortunately, I looked at the back and there were no dents or scratches.

Today, I went to the post office to mail something, and it was really crowded so I parked in the only vacant spot (and it was at the end of the lot next to the thru-way). I came back to pick up dad from his office, and OMG, there's like a 1 inch gaping separation between the body and bumper on the right back side of my car! AND, there's like a bajillion huge scratches, and a small chunk of the right tail-light is missing!

WHAT THE HELL!

Seriously! I freaked out that I may not have seen the previous incident more carefully, but looking at it now, you'd think I'd NOTICE that HUGE GAPING SPACE!!! And OH MY GOD! Is this how humans work? Someone else's property matters shit compared to our own doesn't it?! Is that how we want to live? Isn't it how we live?!!!

WHY IS THIS HOW WE LIVE?!

WHY can't we be honest? Responsible for our own acitons?! KINDER?!!!!!!!

WHY DO THERE HAVE TO BE 1000 BAD people for every GOOD one?!

Please...PLEASE. If you EVER hit someone else's car without them knowing, or do anything as vile and indecent as drive away from the scene, please reconsider your selfishness, and how, BECAUSE OF SUCH BEHAVIOUR OUR WORLD IS AS IT IS!

*angry*

*smacks forehead*

*ahem* ..for those of the "girls" who apparently RULE at math..she forgot the C.

:P i miss calculus a lot :(

a lot a lot + C
where C = a "button"

the egg and the yolk

I woke up today, slightly enlightened.

I was looking at a glimmer of the sun through my blinds, and my eyes, having the less-than-perfect ability that they do without contact lenses, seemed to show me a long dull band of light with a blurry but fiery core. The first thing that came to mind was (obviously if you know me you'd think I'd see this) a galaxy.

A sombrero galaxy. On my ceiling.

My thought continued. This time it was an atom. The center - a nucleus of protons and neutrons surrounded by a haze of electrons.

An atom. In my mind.

And then the final image appeared, in which I felt momentarily enlightened. It was a cell, the center - a cluster of DNA and protein, surrounded by a sea of organic and inorganic molecules.

A cell. In my body.

I reveled in my self-discovery. But thought nothing of it and brushed my teeth. But just now another image came to mind. That of an egg, and it's yolk immersed in a white cocoon. It seems too incredible. It's too profound. Everything has a center. Everything has a nucleus. Everything revolves around an impetus. The nucleus of an atom, to the nucleus of a cell, to a yolk of an egg, to the center of a galaxy. There is always a center. I wonder if it's mere coincidence. And honestly, it probably is. As a human I WANT to make it seem like there IS a rhyme and reason to the pattern. But there probably isn't. Pff...just the thought astounds me though. How could this be?

How could I have not seen this before?

i'm letting go...

Deep in this anatomy
Buried
Deep in this anatomy
Buried

All is determination
To make it make sense
All is determination
You can find it if you...

Just let go, just let go, just, let it go

Stripped to the core

Robbed of ration
Instinct gives rise
Robbed of ration
Audacious and precise

The body lunges forward
Defeating time.........

You can find it if you......

Just let go, let it go, just, let it go

Make it make sense
The violence of the gesture
Make it make sense
Cutting through space
Make it make sense
The face
The effort to be made
The face, the face, the face
The enemy

Just let go, let it go, just, let it go

~Fischerspooner

1:11:34

I talked to you that long! :D

Oh how time does fly. :P

Quest

I found this animation the other day. It caught my eye simply because of the title, which just so happens to be my favorite word of all (apart from quintessence, but that's beside the point). *continues* I suppose it shouldn't surprise me, but the object of the quest is the "elixir of life," aka. water. And I stopped to think of the beauty of such a simple molecule. Just the fact that it is bent bestows it with the fluidity in its movements, the symmetry of it's crystal structures, and the ability to truly define life as it is.

More importantly, I found myself defining what MY quest in life is. But the answer came almost immediately - enlightenment, Ultimate understanding. I can't say I'm even close to waking up from the sandy beach much less oozing into the oceans of my reward, but I've at least recognized that there IS a sandy beach...that my pursuits hold some merit, and that they are true to who I am. Maybe I will loose some sandy parts to myself, maybe I will disintegrate. But maybe I will find myself finally free of having to associate structure with everything.

I once heard a physicist describe what space was truly like. It's not everything it's hyped up to be. There aren't magnanimous stars and nebula's everywhere you look, no dazzling light to brighten the darkness, and certainly no galaxies to color the Universe's sky. At any given point in the vast Universe there are no lights, no atoms. It's pure empty. Structureless. Disassociated from and with everything, but also so unified. It's incomprehensible to me though, simply because I cannot appreciate it for what it truly is. That's only one little part of what I seek to fully respect. Just one.

And there's always so much more to understand. No, I don't think I've woken up from my sandy slumber. But I do know there is a beach. I can't wait to ooze into sand, survive paper tornadoes, crumble beneath rocks, and be obliviated by metal. I can't wait to reach my water. My elixir of life. The only thing that keeps me whole.

*pulls hair*

OH MY GOD!

I JUST SPENT $4oo.oo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OH MY GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!



..I take back that one time I said I was financially responsible. I TAKE IT BACK FERVENTLY! I'm the biggest spendthrift in the world!

*flails*

Fo' Jeebus-Booty :P

Ode to Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in England. We take English for granted,
but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks
who grew up speaking English should be committed to
an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send
cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that
smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?


:D Why Jeebus? WHHHYYYY?!!!!

~"Friends in High Places"

:*

imbibed w/ randomnees

Uhm, in thinking about the title of this post, I wondered if there was a noun-version of the verb "to imbibe." I really wanted it to be a noun, so that my title would be free of the erring appearance of "w/." Perhaps, "Random Imbibuations?" "Random Imbues?" "Random Imbibewbs?" ..(that sounds like boobs - NEVERMIND) *shifty eyes* O.o

DUDES! I just looked it up in the dictionary, and the official noun is: *bada pow*

"IMBIBITION"

uh..

Aanywho, if you can't really tell I saw the Science of Sleep the other day. It was gorgeously hilarious! :P Let's enjoy:

Stéfane: Tonight I'll show you how dreams are prepared - love, friendships, relationships...All those ships.

Stéphanie: Distraction is an obstruction for the construction.

Stephane: [Shows 3-D glasses] You can see real life in 3-D.
Stéphanie: Isn't life already in 3-D?
Stephane: Yeah but, come on.

Stephane: It's like touching your penis with your left hand.
Stéphanie: I don't have a penis.
Stephane: But you have a left hand.

Stéphanie: How's your head?
Stephane: It's okay. It's not normal though...
Stéphanie: It's never going to be.

And my favorite:
Stefane: P. S. R. Parallel Synchronized Randomness. An interesting brain rarity and our subject for today. Two people walk in opposite directions at the same time and then they make the same decision at the same time. Then they correct it, and then they correct it, and then they correct it, and then they correct it, and then they correct it. Basically, in a mathematical world these two little guys will stay looped for the end of time. The brain is the most complex thing in the universe and it's right behind the nose. [plays drums] Fascinating!

*haha* Have you ever experienced PSR? I know I have...I do..ALL THE TIME!

Oh, and my coworker Brian thinks that with chocolate, I'm like a hummingbird. "Was that blur Shruti?" *does funny hand movement depicting hummingbird movements*



And, BLOODY HELL! It's RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go roll in some gorgeous snow-mud now! :D *SQWEEEEEEEEEEE*

EDIT: It's "NUCLEAR"..not NUCULAR!!!!! *flails*

MORE EDITS:
Chris: Testicals.....haha
Me: HAHA
sounds like an exam
oh crap, i have testicals tomorrow
*smacks forehead*
gotta study.... *sheepish*

La Science Des Reves

Cotton and cardboard, cellophane and paper, thread, needle to employ,
All felt and fabric, birds fly and cats play.
Golden the pony boy,
Made out of cloth and standing so still, just like a simple toy.
Gray as the sky on a day without sun,
Golden the pony boy.
Screwdrivers, rubber bands, glue guns and pliers, tools to create or destroy.
Patiently waiting, un-calculating,
Golden the pony boy.Flying wheels and coloured reels,
Spin into motion,
Bringing him lots of joy,
Trot, canter, gallop,
Over land and sea,
Golden the pony boy

9,000 words... (& then some)

...Get it? a picture is worth a thousand words! *therefore* 9 pics = 9,000 words! *good god i miss math*

Ok ok..so the following is sort of a "picture post" of certain significant/nonsignificant events of my life. Dad and I were going to mail something at the post office on Drake Rd. after work, and on our way there was TONS of traffic. Well, we soon saw a car, the blue one depicted here, that had been PUMMELED into a tree (the drivers side was obliviated). Wait wait, at first this is us driving TO the post office, and all the while I'm sitting there thinking (apart from "Oh my gosh, I hope the driver's ok") "Oh my gosh, Mikey would TOTALLY get his camera out and take pictures!" So, I decided to be evil and follow in his noble footsteps, except I failed miserably while attempting to take a picture of the car that had a crunched front.....As you can see (above)...I got everything BUT the front end! *haha* ...*wow* I suck at this. So normally you'd expect to start driving at normal pace right? NOOO....pe. Nope. We later happenstanced upon this conglomerate of cars a few yards away...See the black rectangle? It's an overturned Semi truck that had an "oversized load" sign on it. They cleared out the drivers part of the truck by the time we got back from the post office: Yes...I know it was really wrong of me to do, but how often does a semi truck overturn in the city? Not often. (right? *shiftyness*) Alright, THEN I wanted to show ya'll how pulpish the brain becomes upon filling out secondary applications:


Yeeeeaahhh.....Thank goodness I didn't mail that. *yikes* :$
And also how pulpish the brains of people who have no clue who I am are:
Mmmmmhmmmm....wish I were there. BUT I'M NOT!!!!

And, I saved the best for last: :P

My peep w/ her peeps:
And last but not least, FOR my peep:
It's been a LONG time since I drew anything btw..and it's been even longer since I drew a non-perfectionist face (I have a tendency to make all the features boringly expressionless). Although you can't really see it, she's actually got some tears in her eyes due to the wind and her mouth is slightly agape. It's my freakin' drawing so don't you DARE take it w/out permission! *growls*

twisted!

Some dudes in Minnesota actually did something really REALLY cool:

They decellularized a heart, leaving all the extracellular matrix behind (all the "glue" holding the cells together), and upon introducing the decellularized heart with progenitor cells from the same organism, they were able to re-create the entire cellularized heart, capable of pumping on its OWN!!! :O

That's stupendous. Ingenius actually. It was almost expected that that would happen, but ironically one doesn't realize the significance of making such discoveries until they're made. I wonder why? *contemplates*

But the above absolutely revolutionizes cardiac care. Think about all the heart transplants..it's amazing how many complications arise because of the immune system's reaction to a foreign heart (or any organ). The ECM instead simply provides the cells enough support to grow "normally" but when I read said article (cited below) a really small part of me wondered if that growth could go uncontrolled? But no it couldn't right? It'd only occur where there's ECM? ....*sheepish cluelessness & all-knowingness together* :P

article cited from: http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/researchers-create-beating-heart-lab-15218.html

Aanywho, sample of my temporary fav. artist:

Consequence, The Notwist

'nite :P

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

source: xkcd

elixir...

"The 'elixir of life' that could soon be given by injection
By FIONA MACRAE - 16th August 2007

A new injection could prove to be the 'elixir of life.' The injection works on the body's mitochondria, the 'energy centres' of our cells. The prospect of holding back the years with a simple injection could be closer than we think. Scientists have taken a step towards developing a treatment that could erase the health problems associated with ageing.

While their breakthrough relates to rogue genes behind two rare genetic diseases, the approach they used could one day be harnessed to slow down the ageing process - creating an "elixir of life". The research focuses on mitochondria, sausage-shaped "powerhouses" in every cell of the body except red blood cells. They turn the food we eat into energy that can be used by the heart, muscles, brain and other parts of the body. Research has suggested their deterioration is an important cause of ageing, according to a report in New Scientist magazine.

About one in 5,000 children and adults are at risk of developing a mitochondrial disease, which include disorders of the nervous system and blindness. One unique feature of mitochondria is that they have their own DNA, known as mitochondrial DNA, which is inherited from the mother only. Defects in this mitochondrial DNA are blamed for a range of rare genetic diseases, including some forms of diabetes, blindness and heart problems. They have also been linked to ageing - suggesting that fixing the flaws could slow down the onset of old age. However, all attempts to fix flaws by inserting healthy DNA into mitochondria - a technique known as gene therapy - have failed, with the fresh genes stubbornly staying outside the powerhouses.

Now, by labelling the functional genes with an "address code" - which effectively tells them where to go - French scientists have succeeded in smuggling them inside the mitochondria. Once there, the pair of genes repaired the damage behind a rare form of blindness and a muscle wasting disease, says the New Scientist report. In time, the same approach could be used to create injections of genes that will erase flaws thought to be linked to the ageing process. However, while this might slow down ageing, it would not halt it completely, as mitochondria are just one of many factors involved in the ageing process.

Professor Patrick Chinnery, a leading British expert on mitochondrial disorders, said: 'It is not a panacea but, if successful, it might potentially correct part of this ageassociated damage to mitochondria which might be important in slowing down ageing. "What they are doing sounds potentially a very clever idea. There is no treatment for these diseases, so any advance is clearly of great interest."

The researchers, from Marie Curie University in Paris, now plan to move their experiments from cells to rats, with human treatments the ultimate aim. There are, however, many hurdles to be crossed. For instance, researchers need to be confident that genes act as billed and do not disrupt other vital processes. They also need to work out how to get them to the right parts of the body without causing harmful side effects to other tissues. Gene therapy offers hope of new treatments for a raft of illnesses, from cancer to Parkinson's disease.

In a recent trial reported in the Lancet, injections of genes into the brain significantly helped relieve the symptoms of Parkinson's disease. Tremors and rigidity were reduced by up to 65 per cent, with no ill effects."

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=475609&in_page_id=1

Question: DO we want to live forever? (Don't be arrogant and just say yes for the sake of knowledge and understanding, but rather think of the impact of humans on our surroundings too)

..let there be light :P

& my favorite one:

source: MalvaAlcea :)

you 2

Hi! Hooola! Heylo! Namaste! :)

I know a lot of my recent posts have been inspirational quotations, and wonderful music lyrics and videos...not much "content" has been sprawled out for the world to know about me. It's only because I'm in a state where I'm taking everything in. You know..all that philosophical "breathing in" is occurring.

I've grown up a lot. I'm not saying I've "grown up" but I'm definitely more aware of my responsibilities in my own life. I'm surprisingly not as big a spendthrift as I thought I'd be in relation to finances (except for paying oh about a BILLION dollars in secondary application fees *flails inside parenthesis*). I still haven't lost myself in the conundrum that is our "real world." I'm sure I get all confused and frustrated at all the choices and decisions that face me, but I make them eh? And that's saying something. I'm making my own choices! And I'm taking full responsibility for them! It sure as heck is not easy, and I've tripped over myself so many times it's uncountable. (I blame this on the ice *looks of innocence*)

Apart from the above philosophical jazz, the new year could NOT have started off any better! I had SUCH a blast! I got to walk across frozen lakes, and sleep over cuddled with certain best friends. On top of that, the bestest of them all blew my socks off...I couldn't believe she was in front of me so soon that I almost kept pinching myself to make sure she was real (this is AFTER I peed my pants). And OFCOURSE in all the excitement I was bound to forget something (you know what it is *winks*). And noow..I'm sick..sad, but also JOYOUS! Do you KNOW how wondrous it is to be sick? My mom and dad absolutely freak out about me, and the past weekend was, although quite miserable in terms of physical fitness, the most relaxing one I've had in a long long time! :)

Ironically (and maybe a bit impossibly), all of this "breathing in" also takes my breath away.

So I say unto you:

"It's a beautiful day,
the sky falls And you feel like
it's a beautiful day,
Don’t let it get away" ~U2

Just....don't let it get away. :)