is nothing something?

*ahem*

Answer: ???

I was conversing with my friend Emil today, and just some thoughts overtook our tawks, and we ended up debating whether or not the little thing that is us, our body, or life, meant anything in the context of the Universe. It's really quite a debatable topic.

Imagine...the Universe would you? *imagines* *dies if in Hitchiker's Guide* ;) (for those of you who are clueless, in the HG, a human sees the Universe through this machine right before they die, and they die simply because they're astonished at its beauty and grandeur that it's too much to comprehend for the human mind, thus *kaput*)

Where was I? *revamps* Right...

Imagine the Universe. It's pretty huge eh? Maybe this aid will help you: think of you, right now, reading this. You're sitting in a comfortable or not so comfortable chair or sofa, or are plushed out on cushiony beds royally reading my words *giggles* (i wish)..You're under some form of shelter, underneath a roof. Zoom out. You see the roof, the trees and buildings surrounding yours. The little pie hole on earth that you occupy, imagine the beautiful blue and white marble that is the Earth. Keep going, just see black, and this blue dot. That's all there is now, and maybe a small white dit next to it looking slightly retarded and out of place. Next you see a few more dots, some bigger, some barely visible, but not far away is quite a huge monster of fire, our Sun. Keep going. Pretty soon you will begin to realize the irrelevancy of spatial orientation, because you begin to see other spiral disks, other brightly colored clouds, dots, sparkles, glittering in a veil of black reaching out like arms. Suddenly, you realize you were at the edge of the Milky Way, peering outward, you turn back, and see the center. It's veiled by an uncountable, unfathomable number of glitters. Far away you can see a bright spot, and as you zoom out more, it gets closer to the Milky Way. It is the Andromeda galaxy. Fast forward, there's too many disks to count. The Earth disappeared a long time ago. Dunno where it is...it's not even a pixel of what you see now. You can take it as far as you want from there...I like to revel in my imagination of it on my own. ;)

Nevertheless, in some way, you begin to understand where you are in this massive conglomerate of seeming "randomness." That's really it..it seems so random doesn't it? But from our human perspective, we can discern distinct shapes, colors, feels. And if we can see it carefully, there is order...beautiful random order! In ALL of it, in the midst of EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS...is US! From this drawn out perspective, our existance matters little. Our lives, loves, hates, destruction of our planet, our self-conciousness as omnipotent thoughtful human beings falls apart. Nothing we can think of as "ours" matters anymore! It disintegrates. We become nothing. We matter nothing. We are just a part of this randomness. Somewhere in there, not mattering to the Universe, is you.

*aaha* Stop right there. Somewhere in there is YOU! You exist! OH MY GOSH! Look around you! All those glitters, all those darknesses...everything exists!!! Everything un-exists! EVERYTHING IS!!!! It just IS! It's too profound to put into words! Suddenly, you realize that what you are made of, is in so many ways connected to everything else that exists. That even our small solar system is composed of our Universe, that even our small hearts and minds are components of its energy! Some call it God, others just respect it as what holds everything together or makes everything fall apart.

But in the midst of it all, you realize that your nothing, is in so many ways, EVERYTHING. You may feel down occasionally, and doubt everything in your life. And it's only true, what we do matters little in the context of it ALL. But it's here, it exists, your actions, thoughts, your progress exists. So damn it! If you don't want to make the most of it, atleast marvel at the world around you! Marvel at the beauty that is you, that is your Universe.

So, are you nothing? or everything? I ask you. :)

oh..extra tidbit:


EDIT: ***RELATED LINK "Powers of 10"
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=198

Dedication to Blog Action Day

This story is about a tree..a lone tree that has survived more than 200 years of bombardment by Lake Superior's furious storms and winters. And now, here it grows, alone, at the edge of a lush forest overlooking the vast expanse of water that threatens its very survival. A piece of rock supported its roots to the remainder of the land (the larger rock) but 50 years ago, the last remnants of the support were washed away by Lake Superior, and thus stands this lone tree..roots barren, holding on to the one source of soil it can reach to remain alive.

It's called survival of the fittest. As Steven King aptly put it in Jurassic Park "Life finds a way."

Sometimes, I wonder if I am that tree. Just barely hanging on, making my stand against all odds. But then I think of something greater..I think of our world. We are all just as this tree, threatened towards extinction possibly by our very actions to survive. What we had not realized, is in making our stand to survive, we purposefully washed away our support, and now we MUST build it back. We MUST survive what we have done to our planet, because if we do not, there will be no hope. We will drown...(pun intended). We are already drowning.


Please, do something good EACH DAY for your environment! Such matters should not require special days, special times, or special seconds of action..we are constantly deteriorating our world, so PLEASE, learn to constantly build a little of its beauty back! If not for anyone else, do it for YOU..for the survival of your own freakin' GENOME!

our Universe is flippin' oot! :O

"Why our time dimension is about to become space-like
October 9th, 2007 | by KFC |

It don’t get much weirder than this. The universe is about to lose its dimension of time says a group of theoretical astrobods at the University of Salamanca in Spain. And they got the evidence to prove it.

The idea comes from the study of braneworlds: the thinking that the universe we see around us is a 4-dimensional cosmos called a braneworld embedded in a multidimensional universe. The “signature” of our universe is the number of space and time-like dimensions it has: in our case we got 3 space-like dimensions and one time-like dimension. It’s what astrobods call a Lorentzian universe. So far so good: lots of astronutters think the same thing.

But our universe may not always have been like this. Some theorists think it may once have had a Euclidean signature meaning that all the dimensions were space-like. Now Marc “Bars” Mars and a few pals in Spain say that the Universe’s signature might be about to flip from Lorentzian to Euclidean. In other words, our dimension of time is about turn space-like. Gulp!

This ain’t entirely bonkers and here’s why. Bars Mars has calculated what it’s like to be an observer in a universe that is about to flip and get this: it would look as if it were expanding and accelerating away from us. Sound familiar?

Yep, it’s exactly what astrobods have been observin over the last few years, a phenomenon they attribute to dark energy. If Bars Mars is right, dark energy ain’t got nothing to do with it and we’re all starin’ down the barrel of a cosmic catastrophe.

Still, maybe four space-like dimensions will be better than three. Who needs time anyway?

Ref: arxiv.org/abs/0710.0820: Is the Accelerated Expansion Evidence of a Forthcoming change of Signature?"

SOURCE: http://arxivblog.com/?p=71

WOW! Is that not crazy..yet AMAZING?! It's exhilerating actually, and maybe a bit horrifying at the same time. I just wonder how long it will take to fully flip..dang it! I WANNA EXPERIENCE A TIMELESS UNIVERSE! NOW! *haha*

Also, my Universe did quite the 180 over the past 4 days...I shall save juicy details for later. :)

mud O_O

Yestuhday, while running, I found myself cold and shivery, and looking around I realized that I'd been running in a continuous veil of drizzle, and I didn't even know it! So since I was already drenched from the 50 trillion tiny seemingly invisible drops of water, I decided to go beserk in my backyard!

And OH MY GOSH! I danced in the grass like a HOOLIGAN for HOURS in POURING RAIN!!!! I just danced and danced! I probably sent my iPod to hell and beyond, but damn it..the music, the water, and the soft grass made it so PERFECT! My dad came out with some gorgeously hot indian delicacy, but upon watching me for a few minutes secretly (i hate it when people do that) started laughing his butt off! And it wasn't because I was dancing like crap..anything BUT...it was because I was COVERED in mud, and grass!!!! I had it in my hair, all over my face, my shorts were RUINED! (they're orange, and you could only see the orange in like..some spots, everything else was green grass or black mud, thankfully i was barefooted in the grass or my sneakers would have committed suicide from mud-shame)

I could only have said, it was the MOST happy I have felt in a VERY long time. It was so perfect, nobody but me, a part of nature, dancing with nature. (until dad showed up *cough*)

I remember, in India during the monsoon season, my best friend on THAT subcontinent (Gudia), and I used to dance and run amok on our terrace until there was literally 2 feet of water at our feet...and then it was just fun splashing around like crazy foo's. And there..the rain isn't even cold..it's like HOT compared to here. *haha*

Anywho, I'm in the real world now. I never thought this little girl would get to the "BIG BAD WORLD," but BOY, I'm 'der. And it's not AS big, or AS bad as I expected..(it's probably more so and I just don't know it yet..but save the juicy details for later peeps!) But this wonderful moment sponsored by rainy downpours, was enlightening in that the "big bad world" is JUST as BIG and BAD as I want it to be. Because it's me looking out through these eyes, it's me feeling, and typing, and hearing, and speaking (uncontrollably), and singing, and dancing, and loving, and hating, and believing! And that's my world!!!

It's BEAUTIFUL! All the mud is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! :D

cheers

hey hey PUNKS!

So a LOT of stuff has happened lately that has just purely warranted me moping about wondering what my purpose in life really is. My grandma passed away recently, and she was honestly, the ONE person that loved me UNCONDITIONALLY. Like..nobody on planet earth could have loved me more. It still hasn't hit me yet..I just mostly remember her voice and her running after me when i was a baby trying to get me to eat food (which at the time was the BANE of my existance, but is quite the opposite now *haha*). Whenever people leave me, I just feel like it's evil to not let them go, and to make them hold on just for our sick pleasure of their wonderful company. I feel like when you let them go, they are truly at peace, and they are truly free. And I've realized most importantly, that they live on forever in my memory, so for however "forever" I am alive, so are those who leave us.

And I'm sort of jealous, because "death is the road to awe."

I want to be awed sometimes. Don't get me wrong..but if you've read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you'll understand when I say I want to see the Universe in its full glory when I die. That's kind of all I live for! After all, I am a part of this Universe, so whatever little part of me I understand, so will I to that of the Universe at large. All these "sad" events have brought so much more meaning to my life. That yes, death is scary when it happens. Simply because you're not human anymore. No matter what you believe in, reincarnation, salvation, resurrection in different forms, total oblivious-ness, transportation to heaven or hell, whatever..ultimately, death brings about the ending of human existence. And believe you me, that's one HELL of a scary thought. To not EXIST, ironically, is a scary thought. I say ironically because I constantly worry about why things even exist, but I only realize the importance of their existence once they are no more. To exist is to be, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually a manifestation of this Universe. Although I really believe death is equally so, it's hard to comprehend losing the physical aspect of that manifestation. It's hard to imagine not ACTUALLY BEING anymore, not actually breathing, eating, sleeping, and feeling our emotions as a part of a living entity. Maybe it's hard to also accept that once that physical part is gone, that there will be nobody who will be able to "see" the other parts of being. It's so scary to accept being free of the human body.

So here's to my life. Here's to my existence. *raises imaginary drink* Here's to understanding my Universe. And here's to my wonderful, loving grandma, who will live with me forever. Forever.

I JUST read this too: "I am nothing more than a single narrow gasping lung, floating over the mists and summits." -Peter Habeler, 1978

ATP

I love you. :)

*chuckles* ..nerdiness O.o

source: http://xkcd.com/archive/

These are such a welcome break from cramming! :)

*bzzzzz* *SPLOTCH!!!*

*SQUIRSH SQUIRSH SQUIRSH* *EEEEEECCCCCHHHHHHHHH*

That's what it sounded like..and lOOked like! *aa* I was driving down Howard, lost in Shruti thoughts, and this HUGE green bug just went to heaven right on my windshield. Like I literally saw it flying in happily, and the next moment all it's happy thoughts were splayed out as guts and poop that it ..pooped out b/c it was nervous it was going to die or something! *haha* I know..ew. But it's remains are displayed on my car, for all other insect dudes to pay homage and never come in front of a Shruti-driving-car-in-deep-thought moment. And then after that I didn't even look at the road b/c I was staring at its gooey yellow-green lifelessness a mile long in every direction SHOCKED that I'd just taken an innocent life.

OH! The consequences of being human! *flails* I sort of secretly feel like that bug is me though sometimes..I'm the happy widdle bug, and the MCAT just comes and HITS me..and I go *SPLOTCH*. And then the MCAT goes..*EEEECCCCHHHH* *haha*

Anywho, I apologize to the spirit of this bug that I so viciously mutilated. It was a very dramatic moment in my life actually..like I ACTUALLY SAW it ALIVE one nanosecond, and then within the next picosecond it was torn apart like a dying star! I even might have caught it's head flying off all confused at where the rest of the body had ended up (in a million pieces on the windshield wondering where the head was off to).

Ok I'll shut up about this dying moment now. *heh* It was just about the most exciting moment I've come to experience of late.

*puzzled*

*woops* i lied.. *shifty eyes*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY-O!!!! or wait..PETU!!!! *AHAHA*

I love you dad! You RULE planet earth, along with just about the entire Universe! :D

:*

p.s. it's OFFICIALLY 12:27a.m. of AUGUST 4!!! *yells @ blogger timing*

*disapparates*

hola.

My MCAT is only weeks away, so peoples..here goes. No more blogger, Facebook, or chat until it's done and over with. (I know I know, that one ended w/ a preposition..fortunately it will NOT be tested on the MCAT so I'm in the clear)

Anywho, thanks for all your support. Call me if and only if it's an emergency. Other than that, pray for me.

*loads of amor and extra STP* :*

10 rules for being human

Rule One:
You will receive a body. You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two:
You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called 'life.' Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three:
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four:
A lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Rule Five:
Learning does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six:
'There' is no better than 'here'. When your 'there' has become a 'here,' you will simply obtain a 'there' that will look better to you than your present 'here'.

Rule Seven:
Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight:
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine:
Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten:
You will forget all of this at birth. You can remember it if you want by unravelling the double helix of inner knowing.

-Cherie Carter-Scott, from "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules"

o mi ginness!

Surprise present left on my car by some totally bored turd oncampus:



I was cracking up when I saw it! *haha* I probably drove around with it stuck on the passenger door for a good bit..*wooops* O_O

*gasp*

Me: *happily filling IV carts*
Nurse: "Hi, did you fill the IV carts by the nurse's station?"
Me: *horrified* "Yy..eee..ssss" *trembles*
Nurse: "WOW! You did SUCH a good job! It's so perfect I don't want to take anything out of it!"
Me: *after slightly peeing pants* "O, thaaank you?"

:)

*break*

ay! Fellows of this Universe (that I'm aware of *shifty eyes*)

Just a small quote: :)

My view as a molecular biologist is that our own bodies are machines composed of molecules and the computer on my desk is a machine composed of molecules, and the only difference is which one has woken up. - Joan MacLeod (science fiction writer, Nature)

keep things whole

In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.

We all have reasons
for moving
I move
to keep things whole.

-Mark Strand

an animated WAR :)

stick figure to you: CLICK ME!


Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART

How cool is this?!! I freakin LOVE flash, and I TRY to animate stuff, but this is just beyond awesome! I wish I could do this. *pouts*

light please!

Upon discovering that my o so beauteous macbook HAS NO KEYBOARD BACKLIGHT!!!!!....I went on a 'my life is darkness' rampage w/ Emil:

Me: it's ALL BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF KEYBOARD BACKLIGHTS!
-WHY O WHY!!!!!
-*flails* & *dies*
-i should do what derk suggests...start selling crack...that's AFTER i stop eating/smoking/whatever people do with it that i'm supposedly doing with it
-now EVERYTHING ties in
-now there's a reason for it ALL...there is no light in my life

Emil: you know what
-there's always a tomorrow

Me: i know, maybe if i keep myself and my laptop outside when the sun rises it can you know..capture some of that solar energy and thereby give my life some meaning...WAITTT..that'd require solar panels, which would require BILLIONS of dollars, which NOBODY has b/c it's all spent and gone in the Iraq war...so basically, i'm lightless...AGAIN
*sobs even more passionately*

O..THE GOOD TIMES! :D *haha*

Life's been great! Seriously, tons of light has been shone here (thankfully)! I'm doing things I love, one of which involves intense MCAT studying, ER-ing, and just chillin' w/ my fellow villians. :)

motivated

(listening al) *we're going to win this* - Bloc Party

I LOVE that band! *swoons*

*ahem* I'm finally motivated, to do things in life. All kinds of things. I went to my poster presentation in Indianapolis, and I met the Director of the Drug Screening division at Promega! *gasps* That was so cool!!! :) He LOVED that just about EVERY inhibitor I used was from his company! *haha* Ofcourse, there were some very interesting questions that were raised about my project and data, and what can be done further. I made some great friends too...all in just an hour and a half! :D (that's me for ya')

All in all, I came to realize how stupid I've been. I used to be self-motivated, and something came along and distracted me. All of a sudden, I see it again. It's like an open road. Before, I saw an ocean, a never-ending mass of water before me. Now I see the white bridge I was standing on extend over the ocean. I don't know where it goes, but it's continuing dang it! It's my rainbow. You may say it's stupid to follow a rainbow, but that's like saying it's stupid to follow your dreams.

*whispers* Follow your dreams!

*giggles*

*looks out window* DUDES! Our road's finally being resurfaced, and OMG..it looks like a freakin' ARMY OF TRANSFORMERS outside our house right now! You know...when there's about 5,669,782,319,400,371 HUMONGOUS heavy duty trucks sucking up asphalt and spitting it out like wrathful ooze when there's barely enough space on our street to hold two mid-sized sedans? The first time I saw them, it reminded me of War of the Worlds. *eek*

RUN PEOPLE!!! RUUUN FOORR YOUURR LIIIVEEESSSSSSS!!!!!

*ends rant*

I bought a laptop! It's bootiful! :D *swoons* EDIT: My desktop! :D :D :D ..the bkgd. is from the Transformers movie..perfectly in sync w/ the happenings on my street.



Um, nothing else is new. I'm going to Indianapolis this Sundee for an international conference at Eli Lilly, and I get to present my data from lab on a poster! :) I'm super excited!!! It looks really pretty too! *thanks macbook*

*official british accent voice* I'd also like to take this wonderful opportunity to give a shout out to Jean, Sandhya, and Steve. Thank you SO MUCH for EVERYTHING! I love you guys!!!!!

And ofcourse, to my parents for their insurmountable patience with me this entire time. Gosh knows how many dishes I didn't do these past few months. :D

*AMORES y BESOS* :*