mEEEooow

agua

Trueism!

I'm kind of scared dudes. What are we going to do with our new found knowledge of water on the Moon? A lot of scientists are excited at the prospects of utilizing it to power rocket fuel production or having a "base" on the Moon from which we can advance explorations elsewhere (convert it to hydrogen gas powered propulsion systems). Others have hypothesized colonization, and direct utilization to counter what we've done to our sources of water on Earth. I'm sure atleast for the next few years we will just investigate what's available and what it means, but great discoveries bring great power.

And as Uncle Ben would say: "With great power comes great responsibility."

as the stars burn, heal

I remember sleeping in my backyard for nights in a row in my sleeping bag watching meteor showers. I'd think of them as God throwing burnt ideas on rough paper at us - and I would wonder what they might have said.

It's time I fell in love with stars again. It's ironic that their fall uplifts me.

I've been so engrossed in the Microscopic Universe that sometimes I forget how I'm a tiny, itty bitty speck in The Big One. Just today, a few moments ago, NASA announced the presence of WATER on the Moon! OUR MOON!

Why did this take so long?!

We've been searching Mars, and other extraterrestrial planets hundreds of light years away using sophisticated technology that for so long not once did we think to point our minds towards the closest celestial body to our own. In fact, even when we went up there and brought back the infamous "moon rocks" (for those of you who don't believe we landed - fuck you) analysis revealed no significant findings. But just because we landed on some obscure spot and scraped off superficial dirt should not have ensued in a definitive end to our explorations. I am incredibly proud of India - just the contribution that was made to such a significant finding, and the thought process behind how cold sinks could act as condensation spots for water.

I can't wait for all the havoc future results might wreak. I say - bring it. It's about time our sky held the spotlight.

"In the Full moon's light i listen to the sea,
And in between the silence, hear you calling me,
But i don't know where i am,
And i don't trust who I fear,
But If i dont wanna, will i hear them leave?
Ooh, ooh" ~Full Moon, The Black Ghosts

cruisin'

*imagine drunk hispanic patient in ER hallway in handcuffs*: "-ey! ooo hell' me? UOO HELL' ME?! FUCK U BEACHEZ! EY YOU! U HELL' ME?"
Doc: "He's got a baaad case of Jail-itis"

*overheard*
Dude: "This one food package said 'Whore Foods!'"

Nurse: "I need lotion. I'm feeling some personal dryness"
Doc: "OKAY there. Little too much info."

pancakes & chocolate chip banana bread

Yay I have awesome things to discuss...finally. Great thoughts that need to be discussed happen when one needs to procrastinate amidst the most difficult domain we're learning...aka. heme/onc.

1. For those of you who ask me "What's med school like?" this article sums it ALL. This is how I eat, breathe, sleep, and survive med school. And yes, it involves a lot of sugar, and if you're Indian, a significant amount of spice. So next time you see me, don't ask! (Also note, my mom commented on the article as "med students mom" - its kind of cute)

 http://rumorsweretrue.wordpress.com/2006/11/01/pancakes-every-morning/

2. In honor of not freaking out about med school, I made my first EVER baked american or any-can dish today. Behold, the amazing chocolate chip banana bread! *insert voila music*

3. I went to the National Interim AMA Meeting, which was in Houston this year. Lemme tell ya - ain' NOTHIN' thurr. Seriously, I know we did not have any time to hang out and do fun things in the city at all, but apart from the gorgeous skyscrapers there's not a SINGLE person on the streets! wtf?!  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING closes at 1:30p.m. on weekdays. My friend Paul and I went to a cafe to study and they closed at 4p.m. and we were the only customers they've probably had in decades. I'm telling you - the city is immaculate, spotless, uses a ton of Spray N' Wash or something...it's beautiful, but ain' no peeps. I thought it was strange. We think it might be inhabited by zombies - except nobody "reappears" at night either.

Except for one interesting incident perhaps - Liz and I woke up to bagpipes at our hotel...walked downstairs to find there was an Irish-Indian wedding going on *cue throng of overly dressed Indians and two dudes wearing checkered skirts playing bagpipes.* Amazing. My favorite part was going up and down the elevator to the 30th floor, crapping my pants and staying as FAR AWAY from the glass window overlooking other scary skyscrapers when I got up there. I think each time I went up and down there was some sort of mathematical proof that was written into the Math Law Book (which I hereby declare an official publication):  my confidence and self-image exponentially increased as I got closer to the ground.

I did enjoy a few gorgeous sunsets though. I'll be honest - the picture does not do the moment justice. It was priceless.

4. My friend Casey hadn't seen me in a while and asked me "What do you collect?" I looked around and thought and thought and thought. I'm sure I mumbled some wondrous excuse for an answer but the truth is ever since I was a kid who collected stamps, and stones, and shells, I haven't really done much other than collect bits and pieces of information that rarely define who I truly am. Which got me thinking....Who am I...truly? (We'll save the answer for a future moment of procrastination)

5. Why is light overrated? Why is darkness stereotyped as bad, evil, scary? If anything, a majority (I think 60%?) of outer space is unoccupied by light. Morever, what do we see when we close our eyes? Mostly - darkness (I know, our mind chooses to see otherwise). But WHOA! Darkness is so powerful. Who says it could be trumped by light? And it's not fair to say that darkness exists to do light justice - you can't just appreciate darkness because it makes one appreciate the existence of light even more. In doing so the definition of darkness is slightly discounted under that of light. So I question human definition - Why is darkness not holy just as much as light? Is darkness not the moment when you find yourself without the help of your visual definitions - when you define your place in a space defined by your mind? My point is that the lack of "light" be it physically, mentally, emotionally should not be feared, but rather embraced. It hones the ability of the mind to accept different realities - in turn helping shape how we interact when a different one is presented in the presence of light. I hope you get that this is a giant metaphor.

 If not...got pancakes?

medicine

aka. laughter

the prophet

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only
love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

~Khalil Gibran

a cat named AIDS

Shiv: What if someone named their pet Lupus?
Joe: Or any other disease - "Here Duchenne"
Me: I had a friend whose cat was named AIDS
Joe: (after a lot of laughter) That's our new band name. "A cat named AIDS"

p.s. Watch out for our talents. *cough*

oh when i wake up these days
i feel i'm gonna die
nothing makes my soul feel alright
there's no comfort in my life

oh how i loved you so
guess how i loved you so
i had to let you go

oh how i wish i was dreaming
cause i feel i can't survive
the nightmares fill my mind
i always wake up screaming

oh how i loved you so
but i had to let you go
oh i how i loved you so
i just thought i should let you know

oh how i loved you so
but i had to let you go

oh like this dying season
i had to let you go
oh like this dying season
i had to let you go
i had to let you go

~Untitled hidden track, The Album Leaf

in honor of my nerdy friends

"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" ~Carl Sagan

mythical wolf

Shiv: "You know 'lupus' means wolf? I had my gmail status message set to 'lupus, the myTHIcal wolf.'"
Me: "You mean Lupin? Like in Harry Potter?"
Shiv: "Is he a wolf?"
Me: "Yeah! He's a WEREWOLF! That makes me appreciate Harry Potter SO much more!"
Shiv: "WOW...that impresses you? Not the fact that Lupus devours tissues like a wolf?!"

Shiv: "OoOoooooOOOh! the COSMIC SOUND OF TRUTH! I'm going to make one....The Cosmic Sound of Lupus!!!!"

It won't stop!
Shiv: "What does dino in dinosaurus mean?"
Me: "I dunno...BIG?"
Shiv: "No way, then there would have to be a microsaurus!"

(btw: Deino = terrible; sauros = lizard --> end result = dinosaurus! *AAAAAH*)

aw :(

 This past week while I was studying for my ID exam I noticed a big daddy longlegs on my windowsill, and he/she was trying to climb up and down the wood panel in front of the window. I watched it in wonder - the shaky thin legs, the intent and motivation to get up there, the sheer existence of such an elegant, beautiful creature that most likely feared me more that I did it. Before all of this I had noticed it over days - flitting up and down on my loft walls, and I would watch it and think "let it live."

To think I had that sort of power in my hand - how dare I make such an assumption? Who am I to let a bug live or die? Why I thought of myself as morally superior for "letting it live" brings me to understand how ignorant I am of the things I understand about life.

Just now, I see it near the panel of wood on the cement base of my windowsill - dead. Its beautiful legs are still just as elegant when not moving. To think I could even remotely influence its survival is beyond me. Arrogance and ignorance - a daddy longlegs taught me to be humble today. I hope I'll remember tomorrow.

mind bends truth

heart twists muscle

dreams shift reality

soul soothes sleep.

~me

slap happy

Mountain Dew (my elixir) does things to me...

eg. I was going to fill my "bottle cap code" in to see what the hype's about and procrastinate just a little more and found this instead...                                    -->

i love PBL!

1. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize! Holy whoas! I completely understand that "whilst" he really hasn't done anything "concrete" I commend the Nobel Peace Prize committee for not overlooking his vision and upholding the tremendous shift in "hope" that he has raised in a very very short time! It takes a great personality to do that. Although at the same time, I think maybe, just MAYBE other candidates might have deserved it more. Just because the committee supports his vision or cause doesn't mean they overlook the qualifications of others. Is that favoritism? But aren't all awards favoritism? Hah! Look who's talking.

2. NASA bombed the moon. "If the true intent of the LCROSS mission moon bombing is a hostile act by NASA against known extraterrestrial civilizations and settlements on the moon, then NASA and by extension the U.S. government are guilty of aggressive war which is the most serious of war crimes under the U.N. Charter and the Geneva Conventions, to which the U.S. is subject. The U.N. Outer Space Treaty, which the U.S. has ratified, requires that “ The moon and other celestial bodies shall be used by all States Parties to the Treaty exclusively for peaceful purposes. The establishment of military bases, installations and fortifications, the testing of any type of weapons and the conduct of military manoeuvres on celestial bodies shall be forbidden.” 98 nations have ratified and 125 nations have signed the U.N. Outer Space Treaty." Source: HILARIOUS.

3. A few goats fainted upon reading the above statement.

4. This is the page I'm staring at right now, and it's cracking me up. To continue the thought on the next page "The other pathogenic kidnea bean is Neisseria gonorrhoeae, who is a pervert (notice how he is displaying the latest center-fold pin-up.) He enjoys hanging out on sexual organs and swimming in "sexual fluids." He causes the STD gonorrhea." ~Clinical Microbiology made Ridiculously Simple

5. derk:  classes were 6-9pm inside the old chem building

 me:  when you got to learn you got to learn!

 derk:  it was horrible, lol

me:  i spent 4 years in that building!

i'lll probably die from MacCrackenosis

derk:  that building sucks
derk: probablly   
derk: ill diagnose your death

6. Sadie gave me highlighters! Life is GOOOD when you have highlighters! :P

7. Bioethics conference this weekend in Traverse City. THEN ID EXAM ON MONDAY! *goat faint*

demands

I want more highlighters for Christmas. The end. O.o

my new fix

I woke up with the power out,
nothing something to shout about.
Ice has covered up my parents hands
don't have any dreams don't have any plans.

I went out into the night,
I went out to find some light.
Kids are swingin' from the power lines,
nobody's home, so nobody minds.

I woke up on the darkest night,
neighbors all were shoutin' that they found the light.
(We found the light)
Shadows jumpin' all over the walls
some of them big, some of them small.

I went out into the night.
I went out to pick a fight with anyone.
Light a candle for the kids,
Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!

Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!

Ice has covered up my parents hands
don't have any dreams, don't have any plans.
Growin' up in some strange storm,
nobody's cold, nobody's warm.

I went out into the night,
I went out to find some light.
Kids are dyin' out in the snow,
look at them go, look at them go!

Woohoo!(3x) WOO! Woohoo!(3x)

And the power's out in the heart of man,
take it from your heart put in your hand.(hand)

What's the plan? What's the plan?

Is it a dream? Is it a lie?
I think I'll let you decide.
Just light a candle for the kids,
Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!

Cause nothin's hid, from us kids!
You ain't foolin' nobody with the lights out!

Woohoo!(2x)

And the power's out in the heart of man,
take it from your heart put in your hand.
And there's something wrong in the heart of man,
Take it from your heart and put it in your hand!
(hand!)(the lights out!)(hand!)(right now!)(hand!)

the sun & stars

 "There once was a sage who lived in a lonely temple high in the mountains. He was visited one day by a wandering monk. As the two were talking a wild animal roared close by, and the visiting monk, supposedly Enlightened, jumped. "I see it is still with you," said the sage...referring, of course, to the instinctive "passion" of fright. Shortly afterwards, while he was unobserved for a moment, the visiting monk inscribed the Chinese character for the Buddha on the rock the sage was accustomed to sit. When the sage returned to sit down he saw the sacred Name and hesitated to sit. "I see," said the wandering monk, "it is still with you!" ~ (Attributed to one of 1700 Ch'an and Buddhism related kung-ans of the Ching-tech'uan teng-lu compiled during the Ching-te Era. The oldest and most influential of the "Transmission of the Lamp" (teng-lu) texts. Compiled by Tao-yuan of the line of Fa-yen Wen I (885-958).)

 

 "My true self was never born, never ages and never dies. Yet to say that I will live for eternity is not true either, as it is utterly beyond time. Perhaps the closest thing would be to say that there is just this utterly unchanging moment, yet this also fails to hit the mark as it could imply that it is static which it is not. It is beyond static and moving. Thus before the world was, I AM. Not before the world, I was, but before the world, I AM." ~Anonymous

A few artists elicit wonder in me, Al Magnus is one of them.
One question: If all clouds had a rope attached to them, what would you do?

The usual 8am tomorrow! yay! Maybe I can steal a piece of the sun and store it for winter. For now, the stars are waiting. :)

oh xkcd!

Also, I have discovered that the answer is always Lupus! O.o

lightenin' bolts a glowin'

Me: "Sadie, ECG and EKG are the same thing right?"
Sadie: "Yup"
Dr. Jeff: "What's an ECG stand for?"
Me: Electrocardiogram
Dr. Jeff: "EEG?"
Me: Electroencephalogram, for brain activity.
Dr. Jeff: "EGG?"
Me: Electrogastrointestinogram?
Dr. Jeff: "Egg!!!"

Conclusion: Take advantage of gullible med students.

Today's muse: Wake Up by Arcade Fire

Somethin' filled up
my heart with nothin',
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I'm older,
my heart's colder,
and I can see that it's a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.

I guess we'll just have to adjust.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am goin' to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am goin’
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am, go-go, where I am

You'd better look out below

boobies...?

	♫ Shiv: your neighbor is a girl. do you know what that means?  Me: no.  Shiv: It means you can stare at her boobs