never settle

Every time I go home, to my home in India, I come back more alive than I had left. It takes a lot for that to happen, but it's as though my heart beats faster, more forcefully, more excitedly in my homeland. Just seeing Indian soil is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Fortunately (or unfortunately), this time fate endeavored to keep me away from any of my beloved window seats. One flight, I actually sat next to a window, except it was painted over. The point of having a window there...? Beats me. Not to mention the ~10 day flight delay battle mom and I fought. I'm not going to grace the havoc of airports and flights with more words.

I visited a lot of family members, and it's astounding how many of them will show up just to get a glimpse of you, to hold your hand, give you a hug after years of distance. I miss them a lot. And then there always the ones who saw me last when I was a 2 year old, and they'd point and say "Oh my GOD! You were *THIIIIIIS* (hand waving) little when I last saw you!!!" FO seriously. Am I supposed to remember them? *roll eyes* My best friend shed tears in the darkness at the elevator when I left. I laughed and told her not to cry, but cried myself when I got back. My brother has already called me numerous times.

This trip was different. I went trekking in the Himalaya's with my brother and uncle. Holy shit. Repeat: I went trekking in the HIMALAYA'S!!! No words could do justice to how beautiful it was. It was hard, but I just kept climbing. I just kept climbing. At one point we reached a clear patch of grass and I just lay down my feet pointed uphill and my eyes staring at an entire mountain range upside down. I laughed for a good 30 minutes staring at it all. Must have been the low oxygen content. :) It does things to my neurons. Moreover, I have never ever seen the colors turquoise and green like I did there. The moss on the trees appeared to glow, and the blue in the streams and rivers would never let my happiness rest. One highlight was when my brother (cousin) and I stopped to tie my shoelace a leaf fell down from the top of the mountainside and landed right next to my foot, almost like a welcome offering. Later along the route we found a bright red flower on the moss, and picked it up, only to forget it at a tree where we rested. It was almost like the mountains offered us a leaf, and we offered a flower in return. Ofcourse, this is me choosing to see significance in such moments.

When we reached our final campsite, Dhakuri, we were utterly exhausted. I swear, the last 1km was a descent, and holy shit, I could have sprained my ankle SO MANY TIMES because of the steepness of it. The locals literally run down it. I tried that, but failed due to my wuss-ass fear of tearing my lower limbs apart over the rocky terrain. The descent trail was literally one unstable stone after another, so much so that we didn't even take the trail but rather went straight down through the forests. Three hours later, we were eating the best food I have ever had in my life. They have magic in their hands! From what a city person would consider extremely simple food, the locals there could mould it into an amazing dish made over freshly chopped wood, such that you could taste the smoke...I know it sounds really weird, but it litereally changes the food - eg. it makes the bread sweet.

Anywho, I spent an awesome week up there. For once in my life...just being. Oh, and I saw the entire Milky Way. Fuck yeah!


I remember this comment and poem on a journal entry I wrote on my way back down:

"The locals say you have to have a pure heart to make it up. When I was there I believed it. Maybe a part of me still does. But no human is pure at heart. I think the trick was 'where there is a will, there is a way,' such that I willed myself into thinking I was pure at heart and worthy of the journey. How the mind fools the mind never fails to astound me. That is the challenge of life.

And we're stoned.
We're high tonight.
We're high above the ground tonight.
We're on a cliff tonight;
Stones on a cliff

Ready to fall
Towards gravity."

So I'm back where gravity resides. My feet are planted. And I've decided never to settle for anything less than the heights I know I can reach. And in all honestly, neither should you.

Happy New Year! :)

-"did you know you could perhaps kill somebody" -"yes but i want to do hoodrat stuff with my friends"

haha

oh heart, the things you do :)

the power of words

So you want to be a writer?

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-love.

the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

~Charles Bukowski

what can we do?

at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity.
some understanding and, at times, acts of
courage
but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't
have too much.
it is like a large animal deep in sleep and
almost nothing can awaken it.
when activated it's best at brutality,
selfishness, unjust judgments, murder.

what can we do with it, this Humanity?

nothing.

avoid the thing as much as possible.
treat it as you would anything poisonous, vicious
and mindless.
but be careful. it has enacted laws to protect
itself from you.

it can kill you without cause.
and to escape it you must be subtle.
few escape.

it's up to you to figure a plan.

I have met nobody who has escaped.

I have met some of the great and
famous but they have not escaped
for they are only great and famous within
Humanity.

I have not escaped
but I have not failed in trying again and
again.

before my death I hope to obtain my
life.

~Charles Bukowski, from blank gun silencer - 1994

*tssss*

pwnage

me: i wouldn't trade it for the Universe
ananda: Universe: ......pwned.

"And something slow
Has started in me as
Shameless as an ocean and
Mirrored in devotion

...Sparks are swirling faster" ~TVotR

"we're howlin' forever"

"My mind has changed
My body's frame, but God I like it
My heart's aflame
My body's strained but God I like it" ~TVotR

ever feel like this..?

cyborgin' eet

*HAHA* enjoy....





p.s. the website pretty much spells out "cyborg" :P

Crawling Neutrophil

My buddy Emil sent me this, and I couldn't agree with it more...

I love you friends...for your wonderfully brilliant minds! <3

god is an astronaut

~best xkcd yet

I'm on a journey,
alone,
but not lonely.
As each second
becomes my past
I move forward-
ever closer to what
I seek,
ever farther from
where I am.
Enlightened are
the seconds of my future.

~me

time is relative

3 minutes and counting to the day of my official declaration as a "Medical School student." I've waited for this for so long.

making history

I watched Michael Phelps make history tonight with almost my ENTIRE CHM CLASS!!!!! We were all cheering "USA," absolutely ecstatic about every single lap the team took....all the way till he choked up and pseudo-cried...holy wows....WHAT AN AWESOME MOMENT! No words can describe what it felt like to be there.

I will seriously NEVER EVER forget it.

sexy Fry look

:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to acquiesce

A long long time ago, *cough* high school actually, I used to do some cuhRAZY art. I think most of this was around the September 11 attacks. I just found a few:






This week is all about acquiescing to the explosion of packing at my house. This is what happened to my room...actually, below is the post-explosion. It's completely gone now! O.o

"God-ish"

3 hours.

Let me say that again, 3 HOURS!!!!!! :D

<3

p.s. Did you find an antonym yet?

...the landlord

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

July 1

Wow. It's the first of July already!

I'll be moving in a month! My first move away from a home I've known all my life. I'm scared shitless, but I'm also getting my feathers ready for flight. This life has just begun.

Hey World!

GET READY FOR ME!!!!!!!!

:D