cosmic sound of truth

$1335

2011-09-02T19:18:00.000-04:00

Well, here it goes. Just applied to 68 programs in General Surgery! :) Lots of moolah spent, lots left to go yet for interviews and away rotations! I can't believe I am finally applying for a job!!!!!!! :O

Let the journey begin...

spaceflight

2011-04-12T20:15:00.000-04:00

50th anniversary of 1st human spaceflight today. Wow. Only 50 years! But 50 years!!!!!!!!!

all to all

2011-03-26T01:18:00.002-04:00

the ultimatum...

giggles

2011-03-04T22:04:00.002-05:00

12:54 a.m.

2011-02-27T00:56:00.000-05:00

Breathing air is fresh.
Feeling warmth is radiating.
Seeing the dark is light.
Being myself is the romance of life.

~me (c)

how to date a med student

2011-02-23T23:34:00.000-05:00

HAHA - one of my good friends at UofM med school forwarded this to me and it is so true I had to share!!! :)

"By Marissa Kristal

Getty Images

Dating a med student? Check out these tips for a "healthy" relationship.
1. Don't expect to see them. Ever.
2. Accept the fact they will have many affairs. With their books.
3. Learn to hide your “ew, gross” reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions.
4. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the “I’m going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD” dramatics are.
5. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. Doesn’t matter. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Date them for long enough, and you’ll become one too.

6. There will be weeks you'll forget you even have a boyfriend—friends will ask how he is and you'll say, “What? Who? Oh....right. He's well...I think.”
7. They'll make you hyper-aware that germs are everywhere and on everything. Even though you used to walk into your home with your shoes on, and sit on your bed in the same clothes you just wore while riding the subway, or sat on a public bench in, you'll become far too disgusted to ever do it again. Believe me, it's going to get bad...you'll watch yourself transform into the anal retentive person you swore you'd never become. And when you witness others perform these same acts that, before you began dating your med student, you spent your entire life doing too, you'll wince and wonder, “Ew! How can they do that? Don't they know how many germs and bacteria they're spreading??!”
8. Romantic date = Chinese take-out in front of the TV on their 10 minute study break.
9. A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper.
10. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. For them, hitting the books 8-to-10 hours a day is not uncommon, nor difficult. You'll wonder how you ever managed to pass school on your meager one hour of studying per night.
11. They're expected to know everything. Everything! The name of the 8 billion-lettered, German sounding cell that lives in the depths of your inner ear, the technical term for the “no one's ever heard of this disease” disease that exists only on one foot of the Southern tip of the African continent. But ask them if your knee is swollen, or what you should do to tame your mucous-filled cough, or why the heck your head feels like someone's been drilling through it for oil for two weeks straight, and they won't have a clue.
12. “My brain's filled with so much information, I can't be expected to remember THAT!" will be the standard excuse for forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and, if you get this far, probably the birth of your first-born.
13. You'll need friends with unending patience who pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. Or, you'll need to pay a therapist who will pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints.

But take this all with a grain of salt. It's not like I'm speaking from experience or anything..."

in the company of music

2011-02-20T18:20:00.002-05:00

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!!!! :D

2011-02-14T16:34:00.000-05:00

And Happy Valentines Day to you all! :)

marcel the shell with shoes on

2011-01-31T22:00:00.001-05:00

magnetic man

2011-01-24T22:22:00.003-05:00

bad project...

2011-01-22T16:40:00.001-05:00

yellen' like yelle

2011-01-11T23:11:00.002-05:00

and death shall have no dominion

2011-01-10T00:49:00.000-05:00

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead mean naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

~Dylan Thomas

"free your mind and your ass will follow..." ~funkadelic

2010-12-30T16:45:00.001-05:00

"I have known love and love has won.
I burned my fingers on the sun.
I've been imprisoned on the moon.
I have learned what truth denies.
I drank the teardrops from her eyes.
I surrendered much too soon.
I never heard the warning voice.
I never knew I had a choice.
Though I never wanted to return.
But I have sailed upon the boat
That flew when there was room to float.
And I drank out of the magic urn.
And I have slept inside the shade
encircled by the love we made.
And I have kissed the face of dreams.
And I have ridden on the glow
that warms the sky with a rainbow.
And I have waded in its golden streams.
And I have danced between the stars
with music sung by sweet guitars.
I've done some things that can't be done.
And I have smiled inside the storm
reaching higher to keep warm.
I've known love and love has won.
I burned my fingers on the sun." ~Silver Apples

gems that are gemenids

2010-12-14T22:28:00.000-05:00

Awesome day today:

1. Watched the gemenid meteor shower from my rooftop at 4am till 5:30am and had AMAZING CLEAR VIEW OF ALL OF IT!
2. In clinic all morning trying to convince 15 year olds not to remove their contraceptive devices because "It's my body and I want to get pregnant!" *sigh*
3. Stayed late to deliver a healthy 9 pound be-be boy who cried like a girl. :)
4. Broke blue board with #2 round kick.
5. Currently: studying for Shelf and Orals.

Awesome day tomorrow:

1. Will probably still look up to check out Jupiter beaming bright in the December sky. *.*
2. Day off to study!
3. TKD graduation testing & ceremony. *nervous*
4. Cont. study times infinity.

talking girls & whacky wishes

2010-11-27T15:34:00.002-05:00

For all those who love new tunes, the new Girl Talk album "All Day" is bawllin' yo! And, its free to download online!!! I highly recommend it for all your savvy dance moves this hot winter. ;)

I'm on my OB/Gyn rotation right now, and I cannot tell you how incredibly amazed I am at what I've experienced so far! I mean whoas - witnessing births is the most gruesomely awesome thing I have ever experienced so far!!! It's really hard to describe the sheer terror and respect you go through in such profound moments when mom's yelling at a clueless yet worried looking dad mid-push to stop asking her "Can I do anything for you, babe?!" I've had some dads think they can make it through the process, but right when mom wants dad to get pictures of the baby dad begins to feel lightheaded and has to "lie down." Just as kiddo's blood flow gets going, dad's starts to fade...so in advance for all those future dads out there - ain' no place for being macho during labor! My role is pretty critical so far - I just, you know, have to make sure NOT TO DROP THE BABY! O.o It's actually quite difficult because they're flying out of control right from the get-go! haha. My favorite part is letting them cut the cord; they stare at me eyes glaring as if to say "Really?! Ew? But Whoaaa?!"

Apart from OB, much of what I've been doing is Gynecology, for which I have no words. Ask me sometime in person, and maybe I'll let slip a few expressions.

I also had a chance to enjoy some serious Indian food (dot not feather)! Until December rolls around the corner, I'm going to be making my wish list. :)

"Hey, this is radio station W-S-K-E-E
We're takin' calls off the wish line
Making all your wacky wishes come true

Hello
I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl [boy] who looked good
I would call her [him]
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala"

clair de lune

2010-11-14T22:34:00.000-05:00

YO YO YO

It seems like I've been spending a lot of time with the moon lately - everytime I leave my house and come back home the moonlight shines on the steps I take. I can't say I've seen the sun in a while, or even know of its existence. I know it takes a physiologic toll on one's body (Vit D metabolism), but I wonder about the profound effect it has on the mind as well. Although, I still believe the moon is underappreciated. So here I am, appreciating it. Every early morning, and every late night. :)

And a dose of humor:

sticks & stones won't break my bones

2010-11-02T22:27:00.001-04:00

my predatory wasp

2010-10-15T21:58:00.001-04:00

2010-10-12T21:42:00.000-04:00

my broken social scene

2010-10-10T22:45:00.001-04:00

EYyo!

I know; seems like it's been years since I shared greater than 5 words. Surgery is like an oroborus - it sucks the life out of me as well as fills me with exuberance all at the same time. I don't know what to do with it all. *enter quarter-life crisis*

Speaking of which, I'm slowly panicking that I'm going to be 25 within the next couple months. :O WHY is this so scary? I still remember a moment when I was probably 5 years old in India, when it was the middle of night and everybody was sleeping. I remember staring into the mirror in our bathroom confused about who I was, where I was going, and what it all meant. I find myself looking in the mirror again. I'm just as clueless as the day it all began. The surprising thing is, relative to my perspective, everyone else seems to have it all figured out. Maybe it's an optical illusion - I perceive this per the standards I set for myself. Thus, I am always below (?). ...Possibly?

Does that mean I should lower my standards? Or rise above my perception of where everyone else is? Would that mean I'd continue to loose myself even more than I already have? Or would I find more?

Oh my gosh.

My social scene has suffered the most. It's clearly..broken. I kind of like it? haha..I think about "all the things I'm giving up" to "gain medical knowledge." When, in fact, I'm really living through it all - each and every single moment of it. I'll admit, I kind of love it. I've enjoyed third year more than any thus far, and I think a lot has to do with FINALLY interacting with real human beings, even though this occasionally involves exhausted residents who want nothing to do with our incessant pestering questions, or patients who we wake up at 3am in the morning to see if they had a bowel movement or farted. We do this simply because we have to beat the interns who get there by 4:30, who have to beat the residents who get there by 6, and then we have rounds at 7am. O.o

Yeah. So I leave with this wonderful reminiscence of my India, with a little of my Broken Social Scene:

teenage dream

2010-09-17T22:05:00.001-04:00

EEEE :D

2010-08-31T03:37:00.002-04:00

It's 3:30 am and I'm going in to work for the day! I LOVE SURGERY! :D

*squeee*

boredgames

2010-08-26T17:21:00.000-04:00

about fractures...

2010-08-05T23:24:00.000-04:00

"If you break your hand, I will fix it for you." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

not-so-new music alerts ;)

2010-08-02T17:34:00.001-04:00

call

2010-07-29T00:26:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh - I LOVE INTERNAL MEDICINE...I've said that before huh? Well, I'm saying it again.

I just got home from call, and a couple of funny things from the last few hours that I can manage to remember are now stumbling out...

Nurse: "That vaginal culture...did you mean (female patient) is getting that lab ordered for her? B/c it's been ordered for this (male patient)."
My Resident AWESOME: "OHHHH YEAH - I suppose that would be impossible for him to do......"
Me: *on floor*

A page I sent to Resident AWESOME: "New admission - chocolate ice cream coming in for lack of consumption. Remove from freezer STAT."

p.s. I FREAKIN' LOVE PAGING PEOPLE!!!! :D

this one's for you ;)

2010-07-15T22:20:00.000-04:00

HAHA - remember how you had to light my bunsen burner for me? I will NEVER FORGET how afraid I was of that damn thing! And HOW BRAVE YOU WERE!!!!!!

dictator

2010-07-13T21:45:00.000-04:00

Me dictating a history and physical on the phone: "DVT Prophylaxis: Heparin subcutaneous"
Actual typed up dictation the next day: "DVT Prophylaxis: Hepatitis subcutaneous"

I LOVE INTERNAL MEDICINE. This is a post I want to remember years from now. :)

BACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-25T22:56:00.000-04:00

OMG! FUTURAMA IS BACK! AND SO AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me vs. you know what :P

2010-06-20T21:31:00.000-04:00

5?!!!!!

2010-06-14T22:04:00.003-04:00

Okay - someone told me they were looking for just one....THE ONE I HAVE A CRUSH ON. Now there's going to be FIVE OF THEM?!!

Higgs Bosons - The Five Gods

(sounds like Hinduism! *chuckle*)

And now, a lesson in humor...brought to you by xkcd:

medstats

2010-06-13T20:58:00.002-04:00

fan of shades...

2010-06-12T22:15:00.005-04:00

Play here: Fan of Shades

"I picked a color long ago
To suit my tawdry tales of woe
And now it doesn’t fit.

Well, my friend who’s a fan of shades
Travelled to the everglades,
And asked if I’d come with.
There’s no one I would rather see -
She’s (He's) a special friend to me.
But I feel I’d be leaving you behind.

That’s the game of love and war -
Choose a side your fighting for,
See if there’s a white flag to be raised.
I know it’s not a fair assessment
But I can’t be asked to wrestle with the colors of who you’ve now become;
‘Cause you and I we’re not the same
And neither can be held to blame
It’s just the way the story has to end.

Being here and being there
There’s no space for being where
I feel I should be.

Loneliness is like a drink
I think you’re on the verge of sink-
ing when you tame the sea.

Interims are good for suckers
Feeling like they’re down on luck
And I’m not going to drown in my own tears.

I can’t ask you anymore
To be the one that I adore
Only when the time is right for me.
So lets just be." ~Kyle Forester

:) I can't wait to see the movie!

prayin'

2010-06-08T10:39:00.003-04:00

It's that time!!!!!! BRING IT!!!!!

Lord, give me grace and dancing feet

And the power to impress
Lord, give me grace and dancing feet
Let me outshine them all
Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
2nd best runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more, than is given to you
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm I will slice I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm I will slice I will dazzle
I will outshine them all
Standing on the packed dance floor
Our bodies throb in time
Silent on the weekdays
Tonight I claim what s mine
Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
2nd best runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more, than is given to you

brief...

2010-06-02T21:48:00.003-04:00

...enlightenment...(esp. at minute 2:00 to the end)

"You must understand it, go into it, examine it, give your heart and your mind, with everything that you have, to find out a way of living differently. That depends on you, and not on someone else, because in this there is no teacher, no pupil; there is no leader; there is no guru; there is no Master, no Saviour. You yourself are the teacher and the pupil; you are the Master; you are the guru; you are the leader; you are everything. And to understand is to transform what is." ~JK

He's my new favorite - I don't know what to call him, as he would not like it if I called him a theologian, teacher, philosopher - so he is just my "favorite." :)

His words strike a spark in my thoughts. Something resonates, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I'm not meant to.

Gears that haven't moved in a long time have begun to free themselves of the dust of random facts and theories collected on them thus far. Here's to wishing they will keep spinning with fresh insights.

laws

2010-06-01T23:17:00.000-04:00

"Medical Student’s Law: “Sleep contracts as work expands.”
High Yield: S = (1/W)" ~Toph

Everybody - Rock Your Body RIIIGHT - BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT! haha

2010-05-24T17:08:00.002-04:00

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ~Drew Carey quote

Oh, you think you're going to fail boards? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody and they meet at the library." ~Dubs

23rd baby. I pushed it back. haha! :D

Please note: The Backstreet Boys have nothing to do with this post, and everything to do with an epic brain fart.

response

2010-05-18T09:03:00.003-04:00

So, I sent that awesome quote to my buddy Dubs (who wants to be an orthopedic surgeon), and here's what he had to say:

"Haha. Very true. And then you realize it's a picture of you, being a podiatrist. "

AHAHAHA! Hilarious.

overload

2010-05-17T12:56:00.000-04:00

I've been up since 5 every day...my boards are 30 days away. Wow. Just wow.

This is how I feel about the information overload:
"You get to see every puzzle piece again only this time (after two years) you know what the fucking picture on the box is supposed to be. It’s amazing how much everything starts sliding into place." ~Topher

Those words are absolute perfection. Absolute.

breaking

2010-05-15T11:27:00.000-04:00

Well, this is ironic. This morning I broke my first wooden board. O.o I'll be honest - I was practicing on a plastic one a couple of times and then got into a conversation about how different it might be to do so on a wooden one (considering which way the fibers run, blah blah). And so, my instructor disappeared and reappeared with a real wooden board and asked me to break it. haha!

I kind of just stared at it in brief horror. I mean - me against SOLID WOODEN BOARD.

I could hear my instructor say "Nothing but confidence." And then I did it. :)

Today, I broke a wooden board. It didn't hurt, it was not half as difficult as I thought it would be, and it certainly was not worth fretting over because despite my insecure feelings about my competency I was prepared.

Now - it's time for me to break The Boards. As Dubs said, "The Board exam is shaking in its boots right now." hahahahaa! :D

tick tock....

2010-05-06T17:04:00.001-04:00

the moment

2010-04-29T15:49:00.001-04:00

She's done it.

She's a Pharm-D. No more a student.

*a moment of silence to commemorate*

brown powa

2010-04-28T16:18:00.002-04:00

momentary musical muse...

2010-04-27T22:29:00.000-04:00

:) :) ...oh so :)

teriparatide

2010-04-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

You'd think it's an exotic fish...but alas! It's a parathyroid hormone analog! :D

Okay - so. Fish. Me. Fish. Somewhat studious owner. Fish. Human face plastered against aquarium distracted by beauty. Fish. Post-exam blog update honoring fish. :)

I would seriously like to take this moment to thank my fish - Halley & Comet. Throughout my quest for medical knowledge this year they have had a profound impact on my level of distraction from any given set schedule of studying whilst at home. If they're bored, I'm there thinking of how bored they must be. If they're skittish, I'm right there egging them on. And yes, I have shamefully ventured as far as talking to them about neuronal circuits, bad bad alien bugs, and even human gonads. Hey...atleast my fish are SMART!

So right now I think they're thinking of the epic battle that will now take place:

Me versus the state of entropy in my apartment.

Until then, I have a secret meeting in the basement of my brain.

LXD

2010-04-12T22:38:00.006-04:00

http://www.thelxd.com/

too much sugar

2010-04-11T23:35:00.000-04:00

amanda: Other people need a bra to push their boobs up; my boobs are so big I have to hold them DOWN.

bringit

2010-04-10T09:10:00.001-04:00

Busy times require busy measures. I feel like I'm finally over the "OMG I have to study so much" slump. I don't feel bad saying "No" to friends (sorry), I keep my family as happy as I can, and mainly, my fish are fat and well-fed. :)

And probably the most exciting moment yet - I found out my clerkship schedule! It's called the "Gunner track," (haha) mainly because all the really difficult rotations happen first, and things get better from then on out.

Internal Medicine

Surgery

Ob/Gyn

Peds

Family

Psych

Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!

o.O can't wait

2010-03-31T18:26:00.001-04:00

impatience

2010-03-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

"If you're going through hell...keep going!" ~Winston Churchill

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." ~FDR

It's the 4th year medical students' last day today! TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now...drugs. O.o

AAAAA-HA! :D

2010-03-23T21:23:00.005-04:00

Ok - I am PARTICULARLY horrible at "that's what she said" jokes, and as a tribute to how much I have improved, I give you THIS:

amanda: Mike made the grid for me. I just looked up the data
   me: wow
                  way to include ur main man
amanda: his skills far surpass my own
         me: that's what she said
   THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

*BASKS*

mv

2010-03-21T20:16:00.003-04:00

m + v = <3

Juuuuust like I predicted the heart is WHOOPING my little booty around like it ain' no joke. :)

I find it fascinating though that my little butterfly of a heart keeps flitting through wondrous moments of my life, especially perhaps the best vacation I've had in a lifetime with my parents. For Spring Break we went to Hilton Head Island, SC. I could not have asked for a perfect moment to forget about medical school - the tumult of learning in school is really overwhelming, and I had honestly forgotten that the rest of the world existed while I tried to study it locked up in my cave! It was stormy towards the end, but worth every red sunrise! All I can remember is some of the best Indian food, mom giving dad and I "sand therapy," glorious shell collecting, studying the heart while staring at giant waves, and waking up to dolphins every morning!!!!! :)

Waking up to dolphins - 100's of them for HOURS all day!!!!!

Sunrise:

View from bedroom:

*dreamy*

Mom also put mehendi on my hands (henna) - in celebration of Navratri. I can't wait for my classmates to wonder what disease I have newly acquired:

So now I'm back at it again - plowing through the stenotic valves of my laziness and hoping caffeine will increase study volume and work output, when in fact all I need is a diuretic (the exam) where I can pour out all pent up knowledge about the marvelous muscle.

Except, I pause for a dose of humor:

grad-ness

2010-03-01T13:04:00.004-05:00

white: As with the Pine Tree,

the seed must now be planted

and nourished to develop strong roots.

orange: The sun is beginning to rise.

As with the morning's dawn,

only the beauty of the sunrise is seen

rather than the immense power.

Officially a color belt now! *whew* I got hit in the head 3 times with my new belt, and I now blame a potential concussion to my lack of studying in the past week. Also, one of my grad student friends sent me a very accurate depiction of what proper grad school is like:

And....epic...

i just killed....

2010-02-22T14:46:00.008-05:00

...an exam with my bare pencil.

KILLED.

I'm going to go bury it in the snow so that the blood doesn't haunt me, lest I become too arrogant.

To the heart - I humbly await you. May your four chambers keep me intrigued, enthralled, and in heated pursuit. I certainly never hope to fathom your twists and turns, your conniving laughs and gruesome sorrows - but I appreciate that you choose to grace my life with confusion and enlightenment.

Cheers - to learning about what makes you beat!

aka. CARDIOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

And if the moment wasn't perfect enough already,

I received this in the mail,

love ABrierty-->

higgs boson

2010-02-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

study break

2010-02-17T20:55:00.002-05:00

got dem lights poppin'
got mah brain rockin'
ink's fizzling paper
dynamite knowledge breaker

~moi, copyrighted yo.

I found this in my lecture notes, and thought I'd share. ;)

zzzzz

2010-02-15T16:49:00.002-05:00

"study-nap: a state of attempted productivity characterized by cyclic head-bobbing complicated by a false sense of motivation eventually culminating in the inevitable 2 hours of neurological unresponsiveness, face-drooling-on-keyboard sleep which is abruptly ended by the "oh shit" response." ~Mallory

a parenthesis in eternity

2010-02-14T14:33:00.003-05:00

Happy Anniversary Bebu & Petu :)

There's FIVE flowers now! *squeee*

In other self-related news:

Latest art fart:

you have been given a direct order to rock the fuck out

2010-02-06T10:51:00.002-05:00

~Anis Mojgani

el flor

2010-02-05T13:40:00.000-05:00

Today, a moment of joy happened. I didn't save anybody's life yet, nor did I ace an exam, nor did I win the lottery. My happy plant, that had gone into hibernation for a month, decided to bloom again. There's a cute little flower on it!!!!!! It had stopped blooming right before christmas, but I didn't expect it to come back so fast. :)

Keepin' my life medical-zombie-free one cheerful flower bloom at a time.

lymphangioleiomyomatosis

2010-01-30T12:29:00.003-05:00

Ok, so obviously best friends think alike. I have a ginormous exam on the kidneys and urogenital tract tomorrow morning at 7:30am. So what am I doing instead? Bloggin' ofcourse! *skip*

I think the world should see some keywords that are supposedly "easy" to remember, so here is a fun *FUN* (enter sarcasm) list:

tram track
intimal thickening
basket weave
wireloop
spikes
subepithelial humps
mesangial immune complexes
thin cortex
fibrin strands
effacement of podocytes
crescents
ribbon like
linear
granular
collapsing variant
flea bitten kidney
onion skinning
acute suppurative inflammation
papillary necrosis (differences?)
calyces damage
fibrinoid necrosis
tubular atrophy and diffuse interstitial fibrosis
osteoblastic lesions
U shaped depressions? (shruti can you remind me of what this was? chronic pyelonephritis?)
nephrogenic rest

I would love to hear what you make of it...

Also, this was a random conversation I had with myself:
i wish i were as smart as my kidneys...
kid - ney
ki -dney
k-idney
kidn-ey-ay?

Last week I got to participate in an Ultrasound Clinic - I got to see that:
1. I may not have a right kidney (we couldn't find it)
2. My uterus may be slightly misaligned
3. My heart is as big as a ping pong ball - aka. extremely tiny! OMG - it was like a butterfly fluttering! :)
Overall, I would say that was my favorite experience this year, so far (it's January though so I shouldn't limit myself eh?).

Last, but not least, I applied for a bunch of scholarships. *crossed fingers & toes*

p.s. For those of you who eat hot dogs -->

what falls...

2010-01-24T20:53:00.002-05:00

what falls on the side
of my soul

2010-01-07T14:22:00.003-05:00

"i wanna speak at an intimate decibel
with the precision of an infinite decimal,
to listen up and send back a true echo
of something forever felt but never heard
i want that sharpened steel of truth in every word" ~Why?

2010-01-06T06:12:00.000-05:00

"September.

October.

November.

December.

January.

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me." ~New Moon

2010

2010-01-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

stay hungry. stay foolish.

2009-12-30T21:17:00.001-05:00

~Bill Gates

I still remember the beginning of 2009. I was in the Himalayas. I didn't even know when it happened. *heh* Gorgeous mountains have that effect on time. I recently found this in my diary; it was a quote I scribbled - I have no recollection where I found it. But here it is, in all its vain glory:

"My true self was never born, never ages and never dies. Yet to say that I will live for eternity is not true either, as it is utterly beyond time. Perhaps the closest thing would be to say that there is just this utterly unchanging moment, yet this also fails to hit the mark as it could imply that it is static which it is not. It is beyond static and moving. Thus before the world was, I AM. Not before the world, I was, but before the world, I AM."

the difference

2009-12-06T23:25:00.001-05:00

On my way back from Houston, I met a psych doctor who was sitting next to me on the airplane. I asked him what the difference was between animals and humans.

He said: "The ability to cheat."

fear

2009-12-01T22:23:00.001-05:00

aaah! t-16 days. I feel old, and feeble.

mEEEooow

2009-11-19T21:37:00.003-05:00

agua

2009-11-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

Trueism!

I'm kind of scared dudes. What are we going to do with our new found knowledge of water on the Moon? A lot of scientists are excited at the prospects of utilizing it to power rocket fuel production or having a "base" on the Moon from which we can advance explorations elsewhere (convert it to hydrogen gas powered propulsion systems). Others have hypothesized colonization, and direct utilization to counter what we've done to our sources of water on Earth. I'm sure atleast for the next few years we will just investigate what's available and what it means, but great discoveries bring great power.

And as Uncle Ben would say: "With great power comes great responsibility."

as the stars burn, heal

2009-11-13T21:42:00.003-05:00

I remember sleeping in my backyard for nights in a row in my sleeping bag watching meteor showers. I'd think of them as God throwing burnt ideas on rough paper at us - and I would wonder what they might have said.

It's time I fell in love with stars again. It's ironic that their fall uplifts me.

I've been so engrossed in the Microscopic Universe that sometimes I forget how I'm a tiny, itty bitty speck in The Big One. Just today, a few moments ago, NASA announced the presence of WATER on the Moon! OUR MOON!

Why did this take so long?!

We've been searching Mars, and other extraterrestrial planets hundreds of light years away using sophisticated technology that for so long not once did we think to point our minds towards the closest celestial body to our own. In fact, even when we went up there and brought back the infamous "moon rocks" (for those of you who don't believe we landed - fuck you) analysis revealed no significant findings. But just because we landed on some obscure spot and scraped off superficial dirt should not have ensued in a definitive end to our explorations. I am incredibly proud of India - just the contribution that was made to such a significant finding, and the thought process behind how cold sinks could act as condensation spots for water.

I can't wait for all the havoc future results might wreak. I say - bring it. It's about time our sky held the spotlight.

"In the Full moon's light i listen to the sea,
And in between the silence, hear you calling me,
But i don't know where i am,
And i don't trust who I fear,
But If i dont wanna, will i hear them leave?
Ooh, ooh" ~Full Moon, The Black Ghosts

cruisin'

2009-11-12T19:04:00.002-05:00

*imagine drunk hispanic patient in ER hallway in handcuffs*: "-ey! ooo hell' me? UOO HELL' ME?! FUCK U BEACHEZ! EY YOU! U HELL' ME?"
Doc: "He's got a baaad case of Jail-itis"

*overheard*
Dude: "This one food package said 'Whore Foods!'"

Nurse: "I need lotion. I'm feeling some personal dryness"
Doc: "OKAY there. Little too much info."

pancakes & chocolate chip banana bread

2009-11-09T23:46:00.002-05:00

Yay I have awesome things to discuss...finally. Great thoughts that need to be discussed happen when one needs to procrastinate amidst the most difficult domain we're learning...aka. heme/onc.

1. For those of you who ask me "What's med school like?" this article sums it ALL. This is how I eat, breathe, sleep, and survive med school. And yes, it involves a lot of sugar, and if you're Indian, a significant amount of spice. So next time you see me, don't ask! (Also note, my mom commented on the article as "med students mom" - its kind of cute)

http://rumorsweretrue.wordpress.com/2006/11/01/pancakes-every-morning/

2. In honor of not freaking out about med school, I made my first EVER baked american or any-can dish today. Behold, the amazing chocolate chip banana bread! *insert voila music*

3. I went to the National Interim AMA Meeting, which was in Houston this year. Lemme tell ya - ain' NOTHIN' thurr. Seriously, I know we did not have any time to hang out and do fun things in the city at all, but apart from the gorgeous skyscrapers there's not a SINGLE person on the streets! wtf?! Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING closes at 1:30p.m. on weekdays. My friend Paul and I went to a cafe to study and they closed at 4p.m. and we were the only customers they've probably had in decades. I'm telling you - the city is immaculate, spotless, uses a ton of Spray N' Wash or something...it's beautiful, but ain' no peeps. I thought it was strange. We think it might be inhabited by zombies - except nobody "reappears" at night either.

Except for one interesting incident perhaps - Liz and I woke up to bagpipes at our hotel...walked downstairs to find there was an Irish-Indian wedding going on *cue throng of overly dressed Indians and two dudes wearing checkered skirts playing bagpipes.* Amazing. My favorite part was going up and down the elevator to the 30th floor, crapping my pants and staying as FAR AWAY from the glass window overlooking other scary skyscrapers when I got up there. I think each time I went up and down there was some sort of mathematical proof that was written into the Math Law Book (which I hereby declare an official publication): my confidence and self-image exponentially increased as I got closer to the ground.

I did enjoy a few gorgeous sunsets though. I'll be honest - the picture does not do the moment justice. It was priceless.

4. My friend Casey hadn't seen me in a while and asked me "What do you collect?" I looked around and thought and thought and thought. I'm sure I mumbled some wondrous excuse for an answer but the truth is ever since I was a kid who collected stamps, and stones, and shells, I haven't really done much other than collect bits and pieces of information that rarely define who I truly am. Which got me thinking....Who am I...truly? (We'll save the answer for a future moment of procrastination)

5. Why is light overrated? Why is darkness stereotyped as bad, evil, scary? If anything, a majority (I think 60%?) of outer space is unoccupied by light. Morever, what do we see when we close our eyes? Mostly - darkness (I know, our mind chooses to see otherwise). But WHOA! Darkness is so powerful. Who says it could be trumped by light? And it's not fair to say that darkness exists to do light justice - you can't just appreciate darkness because it makes one appreciate the existence of light even more. In doing so the definition of darkness is slightly discounted under that of light. So I question human definition - Why is darkness not holy just as much as light? Is darkness not the moment when you find yourself without the help of your visual definitions - when you define your place in a space defined by your mind? My point is that the lack of "light" be it physically, mentally, emotionally should not be feared, but rather embraced. It hones the ability of the mind to accept different realities - in turn helping shape how we interact when a different one is presented in the presence of light. I hope you get that this is a giant metaphor.

If not...got pancakes?

medicine

2009-11-03T21:33:00.002-05:00

aka. laughter

the prophet

2009-10-26T21:54:00.000-04:00

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only
love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

~Khalil Gibran

a cat named AIDS

2009-10-25T12:50:00.000-04:00

Shiv: What if someone named their pet Lupus?
Joe: Or any other disease - "Here Duchenne"
Me: I had a friend whose cat was named AIDS
Joe: (after a lot of laughter) That's our new band name. "A cat named AIDS"

p.s. Watch out for our talents. *cough*

2009-10-21T11:33:00.002-04:00

oh when i wake up these days
i feel i'm gonna die
nothing makes my soul feel alright
there's no comfort in my life

oh how i loved you so
guess how i loved you so
i had to let you go

oh how i wish i was dreaming
cause i feel i can't survive
the nightmares fill my mind
i always wake up screaming

oh how i loved you so
but i had to let you go
oh i how i loved you so
i just thought i should let you know

oh how i loved you so
but i had to let you go

oh like this dying season
i had to let you go
oh like this dying season
i had to let you go
i had to let you go

~Untitled hidden track, The Album Leaf

in honor of my nerdy friends

2009-10-20T09:02:00.004-04:00

"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" ~Carl Sagan

mythical wolf

2009-10-19T22:20:00.004-04:00

Shiv: "You know 'lupus' means wolf? I had my gmail status message set to 'lupus, the myTHIcal wolf.'"
Me: "You mean Lupin? Like in Harry Potter?"
Shiv: "Is he a wolf?"
Me: "Yeah! He's a WEREWOLF! That makes me appreciate Harry Potter SO much more!"
Shiv: "WOW...that impresses you? Not the fact that Lupus devours tissues like a wolf?!"

Shiv: "OoOoooooOOOh! the COSMIC SOUND OF TRUTH! I'm going to make one....The Cosmic Sound of Lupus!!!!"

It won't stop!
Shiv: "What does dino in dinosaurus mean?"
Me: "I dunno...BIG?"
Shiv: "No way, then there would have to be a microsaurus!"

(btw: Deino = terrible; sauros = lizard --> end result = dinosaurus! *AAAAAH*)

aw :(

2009-10-14T18:52:00.003-04:00

This past week while I was studying for my ID exam I noticed a big daddy longlegs on my windowsill, and he/she was trying to climb up and down the wood panel in front of the window. I watched it in wonder - the shaky thin legs, the intent and motivation to get up there, the sheer existence of such an elegant, beautiful creature that most likely feared me more that I did it. Before all of this I had noticed it over days - flitting up and down on my loft walls, and I would watch it and think "let it live."

To think I had that sort of power in my hand - how dare I make such an assumption? Who am I to let a bug live or die? Why I thought of myself as morally superior for "letting it live" brings me to understand how ignorant I am of the things I understand about life.

Just now, I see it near the panel of wood on the cement base of my windowsill - dead. Its beautiful legs are still just as elegant when not moving. To think I could even remotely influence its survival is beyond me. Arrogance and ignorance - a daddy longlegs taught me to be humble today. I hope I'll remember tomorrow.

mind bends truth

heart twists muscle

dreams shift reality

soul soothes sleep.

~me

slap happy

2009-10-11T23:02:00.002-04:00

Mountain Dew (my elixir) does things to me...

eg. I was going to fill my "bottle cap code" in to see what the hype's about and procrastinate just a little more and found this instead... -->

i love PBL!

2009-10-09T11:32:00.007-04:00

1. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize! Holy whoas! I completely understand that "whilst" he really hasn't done anything "concrete" I commend the Nobel Peace Prize committee for not overlooking his vision and upholding the tremendous shift in "hope" that he has raised in a very very short time! It takes a great personality to do that. Although at the same time, I think maybe, just MAYBE other candidates might have deserved it more. Just because the committee supports his vision or cause doesn't mean they overlook the qualifications of others. Is that favoritism? But aren't all awards favoritism? Hah! Look who's talking.

2. NASA bombed the moon. "If the true intent of the LCROSS mission moon bombing is a hostile act by NASA against known extraterrestrial civilizations and settlements on the moon, then NASA and by extension the U.S. government are guilty of aggressive war which is the most serious of war crimes under the U.N. Charter and the Geneva Conventions, to which the U.S. is subject. The U.N. Outer Space Treaty, which the U.S. has ratified, requires that “ The moon and other celestial bodies shall be used by all States Parties to the Treaty exclusively for peaceful purposes. The establishment of military bases, installations and fortifications, the testing of any type of weapons and the conduct of military manoeuvres on celestial bodies shall be forbidden.” 98 nations have ratified and 125 nations have signed the U.N. Outer Space Treaty." Source: HILARIOUS.

3. A few goats fainted upon reading the above statement.

4. This is the page I'm staring at right now, and it's cracking me up. To continue the thought on the next page "The other pathogenic kidnea bean is Neisseria gonorrhoeae, who is a pervert (notice how he is displaying the latest center-fold pin-up.) He enjoys hanging out on sexual organs and swimming in "sexual fluids." He causes the STD gonorrhea." ~Clinical Microbiology made Ridiculously Simple

5. derk: classes were 6-9pm inside the old chem building

me: when you got to learn you got to learn!

derk: it was horrible, lol

me: i spent 4 years in that building!

i'lll probably die from MacCrackenosis

derk: that building sucks
derk: probablly
derk: ill diagnose your death

6. Sadie gave me highlighters! Life is GOOOD when you have highlighters! :P

7. Bioethics conference this weekend in Traverse City. THEN ID EXAM ON MONDAY! *goat faint*

demands

2009-10-08T02:32:00.000-04:00

I want more highlighters for Christmas. The end. O.o

my new fix

2009-10-06T18:42:00.001-04:00

I woke up with the power out,
nothing something to shout about.
Ice has covered up my parents hands
don't have any dreams don't have any plans.

I went out into the night,
I went out to find some light.
Kids are swingin' from the power lines,
nobody's home, so nobody minds.

I woke up on the darkest night,
neighbors all were shoutin' that they found the light.
(We found the light)
Shadows jumpin' all over the walls
some of them big, some of them small.

I went out into the night.
I went out to pick a fight with anyone.
Light a candle for the kids,
Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!

Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!

Ice has covered up my parents hands
don't have any dreams, don't have any plans.
Growin' up in some strange storm,
nobody's cold, nobody's warm.

I went out into the night,
I went out to find some light.
Kids are dyin' out in the snow,
look at them go, look at them go!

Woohoo!(3x) WOO! Woohoo!(3x)

And the power's out in the heart of man,
take it from your heart put in your hand.(hand)

What's the plan? What's the plan?

Is it a dream? Is it a lie?
I think I'll let you decide.
Just light a candle for the kids,
Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!

Cause nothin's hid, from us kids!
You ain't foolin' nobody with the lights out!

Woohoo!(2x)

And the power's out in the heart of man,
take it from your heart put in your hand.
And there's something wrong in the heart of man,
Take it from your heart and put it in your hand!
(hand!)(the lights out!)(hand!)(right now!)(hand!)

the sun & stars

2009-10-04T23:24:00.012-04:00

"There once was a sage who lived in a lonely temple high in the mountains. He was visited one day by a wandering monk. As the two were talking a wild animal roared close by, and the visiting monk, supposedly Enlightened, jumped. "I see it is still with you," said the sage...referring, of course, to the instinctive "passion" of fright. Shortly afterwards, while he was unobserved for a moment, the visiting monk inscribed the Chinese character for the Buddha on the rock the sage was accustomed to sit. When the sage returned to sit down he saw the sacred Name and hesitated to sit. "I see," said the wandering monk, "it is still with you!" ~ (Attributed to one of 1700 Ch'an and Buddhism related kung-ans of the Ching-tech'uan teng-lu compiled during the Ching-te Era. The oldest and most influential of the "Transmission of the Lamp" (teng-lu) texts. Compiled by Tao-yuan of the line of Fa-yen Wen I (885-958).)

"My true self was never born, never ages and never dies. Yet to say that I will live for eternity is not true either, as it is utterly beyond time. Perhaps the closest thing would be to say that there is just this utterly unchanging moment, yet this also fails to hit the mark as it could imply that it is static which it is not. It is beyond static and moving. Thus before the world was, I AM. Not before the world, I was, but before the world, I AM." ~Anonymous

A few artists elicit wonder in me, Al Magnus is one of them.
One question: If all clouds had a rope attached to them, what would you do?

The usual 8am tomorrow! yay! Maybe I can steal a piece of the sun and store it for winter. For now, the stars are waiting. :)

oh xkcd!

2009-10-03T12:09:00.005-04:00

Also, I have discovered that the answer is always Lupus! O.o

lightenin' bolts a glowin'

2009-10-02T11:04:00.000-04:00

Me: "Sadie, ECG and EKG are the same thing right?"
Sadie: "Yup"
Dr. Jeff: "What's an ECG stand for?"
Me: Electrocardiogram
Dr. Jeff: "EEG?"
Me: Electroencephalogram, for brain activity.
Dr. Jeff: "EGG?"
Me: Electrogastrointestinogram?
Dr. Jeff: "Egg!!!"

Conclusion: Take advantage of gullible med students.

Today's muse: Wake Up by Arcade Fire

Somethin' filled up
my heart with nothin',
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I'm older,
my heart's colder,
and I can see that it's a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.

I guess we'll just have to adjust.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am goin' to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am goin’
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am, go-go, where I am

You'd better look out below

boobies...?

2009-09-30T19:51:00.000-04:00


	♫ Shiv: your neighbor is a girl. do you know what that means? Me: no. Shiv: It means you can stare at her boobs

swine flu

2009-09-29T21:39:00.002-04:00

My first day in the hospital as a medical student presenting and making a real clinical diagnosis! AND I had a patient in respiratory isolation with swine flu! :) You might think "Only med students would be excited about swine flu..." but there are some virologists out there....

A brief note on procrastination...
amanda: just remember: A focused mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
me: really?
what drug told u that?

cough my favorite nerds... :P

2009-09-28T16:31:00.006-04:00

Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawkings, and Röyksopp!

Latest musical muse that I can ALMOST play on my guitar!

SPARTA

2009-04-04T17:02:00.004-04:00

EDIT: This was designed my my fellow med student Austin Kerndt!!! OMG! I didn't even know! He came up to me and told me! And if you look carefully you can sort of kind of see his name on the top right corner! Also, he's in the picture with the *TUBA* on the right. Brilliant!!!!!! :)

xkcd

2009-04-04T12:15:00.001-04:00

“The moment their arms spun freely in the air they were doomed for man has earned his right to hold this planet against all comers, by virtue of occasionally producing someone totally batshit insane.”

waiting till 30

2009-04-03T00:12:00.002-04:00

amanda: you know it

me: i know everything

amanda: if you have any fault it's modesty

me: that's better than arrogance

amanda: this is true

although that was very sarcastic

me: haha, i know everything, remember?

amanda: that must be quite painful

me: just to my left eye

amanda: lol your knowledge is trying to OOZE OUT

like Reye's Syndrome

me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

omg it's only 12am

amanda: only

me: knowledge shouldn't be oozing out...yet

amanda: I MUST KNOW

me: UNTIL IT OOZES

moto for studying: KNOW UNTIL IT OOZES
amanda: like a nasty P. acnes infection

:P

2009-04-02T22:34:00.001-04:00

the mind is limitless

the inevitable

2009-02-28T14:40:00.002-05:00

The day before my first ER shadowing experience as a part of EMIG (Emergency Medicine Interest Group) I went to ask my friend Meena, who had already had a couple experiences, what it was like. She honestly looked a little rattled. It had been the first time anybody in the EMIG had been asked to perform chest compressions, and the patient had passed away.

*speechless*

My visit that night was relatively uneventful. But my second visit, not so much so.

It started out quite calmly - the usual patient history, chief comlaint, labs, discussion with a million people on what it could be or how to treat it, staring at radiology images and frantically speaking with radiologists about masses and unexpected perfusions. We even had a young patient who was horrified by the prospect of her first visit to the ER so much so that she had severe tachycardia (elevated heart rate). I was also sent into a patients room all alone to determine a diagnosis all by myself, and I succeeded...it was jaundice. *hah* Not easy to miss. But my resident was proud of me. :) Not long after, the docs, residents, and I sat joking about an exam the residents had earlier that day.

My resident was supposed to switch shifts. I "handed myself over" to the next resident who would guide me with infallible efficiency throughout my last case of the night. A patient was wheeled in with chest pain (I can't share more details). I just stood in a corner watching information transferring from the EMT's to the attending physician. He was alert, and able to speak, except I noticed his head was very VERY pale. All of a sudden he lost consciousness. That did it for me.

I still remember saying to myself "OH my god! He's going to die! I'm not ready for this! Oh my god what if he dies right in front of me?! I've never seen ANYONE die before! He's dying!" I also still remember my body saying to itself "You need to leave this room, and go outside and sit down. You're light headed and the last thing the emergency team needs is a fainted first year medical student beside a dying patient. Hold onto the bench! Hold on to the bench! And don't lock your knees!"

Within the 5 minutes of flurry to regain balance, the patient had been stabilized, and surprisingly so did my mind..... for about ten minutes, after which CPR was begun. And I was called to do it. And I did. At 120 I got dizzy. He was a big man, and I was a little girl, watching the ECG reading blip up and down with each pump of his chest. There was nothing apart from that. Within 30 minutes of when his chest pain began, he had passed away.

I cried. I cried because I didn't feel anything. If anything, I felt inhuman. Was it the lack of personal contact? That it happened so fast? I will never know.

I said a little prayer as I left the room.

N.A.S.A.

2009-02-22T20:43:00.002-05:00

NEW MUSIC ALERT!

This is probably going to be popular ALL OVER! But there are better songs! OH THE BETTER SONGS!!! :D

The People Tree:

Z-TRIP:
From the drop of blood, to bones and body parts
To vital organs, forming your brain and tiny heart
You'll feed to escape the birth until puberty finally starts
Adolescence, so don't, then your elderly body rocks
It was divine decree that begun the plan
But this disease be decreed by the sons of man
Don't try to leave with the guns in hand
Understand: God's the one in command

DAVID BYRNE (CHALI 2NA):
Did we climb out of the sea?
Where did we come from, you and me?
Two legs to walk, and as you see
I'm not a man I want to be
People growing, my backyard (I'm growing in my backyard)
In my garden, in my heart (I'm in your garden, I'm in your heart)
Pink and purple, red and blue (See all the colors?)
On this sunny afternoon (It's a sunny afternoon)

CHALI 2NA:
Back before time was time and space was space
The ever-present eye divine so laced with grace
Decided it was time to try to chase, to chase
But what it would design, now life is taking place
Within itself, divided; now it takes some space
And it can't be found alive, the mind creates the state
Of ego, now what's mine is mine
OK, now hate will reign until the blind have eyes and lay awake in wait

DAVID BYRNE (Z-TRIP):
How are the seeds in the ground?
How is my garden growing now?
A tender kiss, a little smile
The way a mother holds its child
Tasty little human beings (Tasty little human beings)
I grow them on the people tree (I grow them on the people tree)
I will eat them one by one (Eat them one by one)
If there's enough for everyone (Like you and you)

GIFT OF GAB [CHALI 2NA] (Z-TRIP):
Born in the ever-flowing life beyond the dirt
Tell me what the purpose is for creating the earth
(Maybe we created the planet as man's habitat
Be fruitful and multiply across the planet's back)
[Well, why does hate exist?
The war and AIDS and shit?
If we're to be fruitful, why can't poor people pay they rent?]
('Cause love and hate, both sides are conjoined
Physical forms have to deal with both sides of the coin)
[Why do we die?] (So you can live!)
[Why do we strive?] (So you can win!
But why did you defy every truthful word I recommend?)
My question back, why do you recommend an ode temptationing
(So I can test your patience and tolerance in the face of sin)
But why attest when you hold all the answers to the state we in?
(For you to bear witness of imperfections of mortal men)
[So it's a lesson?] (And a blessing
Journey back to where you been
'Cause before the treatment flurry seeds must first be planted in)

DAVID BYRNE (CHALI 2NA):
People growing, my backyard (I'm growing in my backyard)
In my garden, in my heart (I'm in your garden, I'm in your heart)
If you like my garden, you might like me (Look at all the colors!)
Underneath the people tree

the egg (sorry, no chicken)

2009-02-18T19:32:00.004-05:00

I showed this image to my roommate, and this is what he had to say about it:

"It's like a hostage situation at a bank!" ~Mikey

Damn, that egg's effed.

Apart from that, school is kicking my butt. We have 6 exams in the next two weeks. *flail*

It's coo' tho. Whatev.

Apart from THAT...um, I sort of sat in at a seminar during one of my studying "breaks." *oops* It was a lecture on miRNA's by a professor from Stanford Medical School (Dr. Chen). I was fascinated by what he presented about how miRNA's are pretty much more important than a lot of other factors such as gene expression in regulating protein expression. I dunno how much you understand about all of this, but essentially miRNA's are capable of blocking the translation of proteins with the help of a RISC complex, pretty much RIGHT AS a protein could potentially be synthesized. It seems to me, and to Dr. Chen, and other prominent scientists *haha* that if gene expression of a protein is constant resulting in a constant/stable level of mRNA production, inhibition of translation by miRNA's has much greater potential of controlling the final protein output than anything else. In fact, increased miRNA levels have been shown to significantly block important phosphatases involved in the control of T cell receptor signaling in response to an antigen. Thereby, blockage of protein phosphorylation in the signaling cascade leads to gene expression for T cell proliferation and differentiation....to such an extent that numerous tumors have been shown to be induced in the presence of increased miRNA levels! *holy effs!* There was a lot more to be said about miRNA's, much of what I'm too lazy to decipher from the 5 pages of notes I took. But here's an animation I found that might be helpful to visualize what miRNA's do.

Anywho, I think I'm going to make attending such random seminar's "my thing." It utterly ROCKED my world! :D

QOD: "Just as we passed that other lamp I was going to tell you a further thing, Jack, but now I am parenthetically continuing with a new thought and by the time we reach the next I'll return to the original subject, agreed?" I certainly agreed - Kerouac, On the Road

it really looks like this...

2009-01-27T20:07:00.004-05:00

When I saw the Milky Way, it looked exactly the same! *swoon*

And OOO! I found a beautiful poem! It's written by a governing member of the Adler Planetarium in Chicaga. I couldn't help but notice its relevance to the quote "We are a way for the Universe to know itself." More importantly, I couldn't help but notice the awe I felt as I read it, because it exactly sums up how I feel every time I look at the stars, or dream of them, or fly around in my purple spacejet surrounded by them. What can I say? I live vicariously through outer space. *oops* Not to mention, if I could think of a favorite mythical being (I know I love dragons by the Ananda Proxy), it would be the Phoenix. Alas, I'll save that discussion for another day, when I don't have an exam.

So relax, look up at the stars in your mind (because I know it's bitter cold outside), and enjoy. :)

Stargazer

Beneath the first of three stars in a row,
where lie the remnants of giants long dead,
I caught the light of a nebulous glow--
A glow that gave rise to an equine head.
So grand it seems that from this cosmic pair
of stellar nursery and stellar grave,
worlds will emerge, lit by a new star’s glare--
Phoenixes reborn from the lives they gave.
I pondered this cloud with great persistence
and found a glimmer of an answer long sought
to the question of our own existence.
By travel-weary photons I’ve been taught
that the cosmos created eyes in me
so it can gaze and have itself to see.

~Eric Francis Diaz

Copyright © 2001 Eric F. Diaz

a bit of enlightenment

2009-01-22T13:09:00.005-05:00

The first momentous non-trail descent! O.o

amanda: gawd, i'm already tired of studying

me: you have NO IDEA how much i relate

i'm about to collapse

i've got piza in the oven

amanda: mmm pizza

Sent at 2:09 PM on Thursday

amanda: i just made a salad and some hard-boiled eyes
me: um..

eyes?

human eyes?

amanda: eggs

me: hhaaha

i'm bloggin' this
amanda: sometimes... i'd like to boil my eyes

usually close to test-taking time. Like now.

me: haha

mine are boiled already...want mine?

i bet they taste very spicy

amanda: lol probably